


Life After the Fall

by wisdomblackorchid2_0



Category: Romanogers - Fandom, Stevenat - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), captasha - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdomblackorchid2_0/pseuds/wisdomblackorchid2_0
Summary: After Steve returned the stone in Vormir, he did not come home empty-handed, giving him a chance to get a life with her.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 13
Kudos: 141





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did try to be okay with Natasha’s death in Endgame. I even wrote stories how I imagined her friends would deal with their grief (it’s entitled, The Aftermath). But it turns out, I am not okay because I still spend my brain cells thinking of alternative endings for Natasha (and Steve). And as I continue to browse Avengers fanfictions lately, I am so happy to see that there are other writers out there ‘fixing’ what happened to Natasha. So I was motivated to finally put my ‘fix’ on paper and share it here. I hope it makes sense to you and that you like it! Thanks! 
> 
> Disclaimer: Character rights belong to Marvel. This is just me conjuring alternative versions then continuing their stories beyond the movies.

Steve knew war so he perfectly knew what victory could cost them. But still, nothing can ever prepare a man for a lost that hit close to home. Tony’s death broke his heart but Natasha’s death shattered it and broke him everywhere else, cracked his spirit and bore deep in his soul.

He was relieved to see the world finally reunited with its half. And while reunions differed from person to person, at least there was no other way for everyone on Earth but forward. This time, people can finally and truly move on. In Steve’s case, he knew it was easier said than done. He barely and hardly moved on when Natasha was still alive, how much more now that she was gone. 

When Scott and Bruce finished a new quantum tunnel so they could return the stones to their timelines, Steve did not hesitate to volunteer because unlike him, everyone else had lives to pick up, to resume. Besides, he needed to see the war to its end and returning the stones was the last phase of that war; the war that Natasha fought those five long years while everyone else, including him, coaxed themselves into thinking they could and should move on.

The idea of staying in the other timeline and getting more than just a dance with Peggy did hit him. But as he pondered on it he realized it was not right, it was not even what he wanted anymore. As much as he loved Peggy, he was not that Peggy’s Steve. That Peggy’s Steve was still frozen in a glacier somewhere. Also, and the biggest realization he had was, he was not even the same Steve who fell in love with the Peggy in his own timeline. So, yeah, it did not feel right. 

That was why after returning the stones, he would come back. He promised Bucky that. He would come back to the timelime the woman he loved died for;the world Natasha sacrificed everything for to make whole again. He would live the rest of his life in it and would never stop making it better.

After he placed the Tesseract exactly where Tony extracted it from, Steve discreetly walked to Peggy’s office. He stood behind that glass wall again to see her for the last time. Then as a farewell gift, Steve wrote on a piece of paper a set of coordinates and placed it near his photo on her desk. He whispered his goodbye to her and suited up for his last stop. 

When Steve appeared in Vormir and saw the mountain, he immediately felt a sharp pang of grief. He made his way up the mountain with a heavy heart, realizing that he was re-tracing Natasha’s last steps. And there he suddenly felt he could not do it, he felt his courage ebb away. But he controlled himself and refused to cry. He would have plenty of time to do that later on. Right now, he needed to focus on his mission so he could go home. Although, he admitted he was not quite sure how to go about this one. All Clint said was talk to the Guardian.

Now that Steve was face to face with the Guardian, he wondered why it didn’t cross Clint’s mind to tell him who the Guardian was. He found it hard to believe that Clint did not know who the Red Skull was, not after what happened to SHIELD. But here he was, slightly gaping at his old nemesis.

“Steven, son of Sarah,” the Guardian greeted him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You just can’t die, can you?” Steve mocked.

“In a way, Captain, I am dead. My obsession with the stones brought me here, a prisoner of endless servitude to the stone in your possession. My life is tied to its fate.”

Steve opened the case in his hand and the golden amber stone glowed right before him, floating steadily in the center of a glass tube. 

“Then that means you technically serve me, right?” Steve continued to mock.

“Just because one can wield the power of the stones does not make him its master. That’s a fool’s belief,” the Guardian replied. “You are many things, Captain, but never a fool.”

Steve shook his head in disbelief. His old enemy just complimented him, in a way. There was a small voice in his head telling him to kill Schmidt now, exact revenge and gain closure. But the permanent banishment in barrenness the stone imposed on Schmidt was enough payment for his atrocities. So he focused on the mission at hand. Steve picked up the tube.

“I’m here to return it. All part of the deal,” Steve said.

The Guardian cocked its head slightly to one side and fell silent for a moment. It glided further up the mountain steps and Steve followed it. The Guardian led him all the way to the mesa, the flat summit of the mountain. Steve looked around and saw the expansive desolation of the planet. His heart sank thinking it probably was the last view Natasha ever saw.

“This never happened before,” the Guardian said. 

“Well, there’s always a first for everything, Schmidt. What do you suggest? How should we go about this then?” Steve asked with urgency.

The Guardian looked a bit baffled. It glided back and forth for a while. It looked funny, Steve thought, to see its version of pacing. Then it stopped. It looked at the stone in Steve’s hand then at the edge of the mountain. Steve followed its gaze, then his eyebrows furrowed. He carefully walked to the edge and peered down. He was not afraid of heights but this one made his stomach churn. 

He did not know the details of Natasha’s death there. No one asked Clint knowing how painful it would be for him. All they knew was Natasha did everything to see her mission through and secure the stone. Whatever it takes.

“Throw it down,” the Guardian simply said.

Steve looked at it again, hesitation and suspicion etched all over his face. 

“I am not your enemy anymore, Captain. I know no other purpose than guide those who seek the stone. And as its guardian, you have to trust me in this.”

“You said the stone was never returned before but you’re asking me to trust that this is the way?”

“Well, there’s always a first for everything,” the Guardian said.

Steve did not mind sass and he would have chuckled at that if the Guardian was not someone he despised all his life. But deep inside, Steve knew he did not have any other choice. There was no manual to tell him how to do it properly, so in his defense, he was just following what the Guardian of the stone told him. He would not make the mistake to think he knew better.

So Steve moved further to the edge. He extended his arm, fist firmly around the tube. He took in a huge, deep breath and released the stone. He leaned forward and tried to lock his eyes on the tube as it slowly became smaller and smaller. Then he saw the tube shatter into pieces, leaving the stone lying against the rough, hard bottom of the cliff. 

Both him and the Guardian did not know what to expect after that. So when nothing happened few seconds after, Steve was more than ready to leave. 

“There. It’s done,” Steve said to the Guardian.

The Guardian ignored him. It looked like it was still in anticipation. Steve held his ground again and looked around. Nothing still happened. Steve sighed and finally suited up. 

But before he could activate his helmet, he saw the Guardian glided to the edge of the cliff. Then he suddenly felt tremors underneath his feet. It was faint at first but he was sure it was intensifying by the second and based on the vibrations, it was rising fast too. He noticed small rocks on the ground violently shaking and some of the boulders cracking and eroding a bit. 

He looked at the Guardian, hoping for some explanation. It did not offer any and instead it simply peered below. Steve copied him but before he could decipher what he was looking at, a huge pillar of light shot up from the bottom of the cliff and straight through the dark clouds above. The clouds swirled around the light and released thunder-like rumblings to match the rumblings from underneath the mountain. 

Steve looked at the light but had to squint and shield his eyes because it was way too bright. He looked at the Guardian again and this time, he found it retreating, away from the edge. He starting stepping back too.

“No,” the Guardian said, its voice a bit louder so Steve would hear him amidst the rumblings. “Stay there.”

Steve was about to ask why when the light finally disappeared, like it was sucked back by a pit below. And when Steve turned to see what happened, he saw _her_.

The light revealed Natasha, floating upright in air. She seemed unconscious. Steve realized Natasha must have been floating in the middle of the light, like how the stone floated in the center of the tube. His heart did not only flutter, it also felt like it grew ten times bigger in his chest that he found it hard it breath all of a sudden. Tears blurred his vision and this time, he did not fight it anymore. 

He almost did stop breathing at what happened next. Natasha’s body slowly floated towards him and when she was an arm’s length away, the invisible force keeping her afloat vanished. Steve quickly reached out and managed to catch her, encircling his arms around her waist. Natasha immediately went limp against him, her cheek slumped hard on his shoulder and her arms dangled like a rag doll at his sides. 

Steve was going out of his mind. No, he was not going crazy, he was sure of that, but he was juggling a lot right now in his brain and in his heart. He wanted to know how this was even possible but the bigger part of him did not care. Logic can screw itself in the ass. It was only at this moment when he realized that his knees were wobbling. So before he ended up dropping Natasha unceremoniously on the ground, he slowly sat himself down and carefully shifted Natasha that he ended up cradling her.

He reached for her face and cupped her cheek, his thumb gently brushed her cheekbone. Then realizing something, he immediately checked her wrist for a pulse. Nothing. Refusing to give up, he went for her pulse in her neck. He pressed at the pulsepoint deeper and there it was. It was faint, but it was there. Steve sighed, cried, and laughed softly all at the same time in relief. He cupped her face again and waited for her to wake up. 

“I have to admit, I did not expect this,” the Guardian said. “But then again, the soul stone is not like the rest of the singularities. It has power over life and death and it’s the only one among the six that can wield its own power.”

“You mean the stone can decide for itself?” Steve asked without taking his eyes off of Natasha.

The Guardian glided and stopped by Natasha’s head. But Steve still did not bother to look at it. He kept his eyes on Natasha, afraid that it might be just temporary or the stone was just playing tricks on him and Natasha would disappear again.

“Yes. The rule is clear and irreversible, a soul for a soul. But this proves that the stone can make an exception when it deemed fit.”

“Why make that exception now?”

“I do not know,” the Guardian admitted. “It may have something to do with the nature of the initial exchange.”

“What do you mean?”

“The souls that ended up as payment didn’t take the fall by choice. She was the exception,” the Guardian explained and looked at the edge of the cliff again. 

Steve’s eyes widened in understanding. Natasha literally took the fall because it was the only way. He imagined Natasha falling and then lying still below, cold and alone. Then the memory of Bucky falling too flashed in front of his eyes. He immediately shook those images away and looked at Natasha again. A wave of relief came over him because just like Bucky, he got Natasha back. 

Steve thought of finally activating their suits so they can be on their way home. But he did not because he was not sure if that was the best thing to do right now. He did not fully understand the terms of Natasha’s return and the stone might have other plans or conditions. 

“Why isn’t she waking up?”

“That I do not know.”

There was a faint but detectable softness in the Guardian’s voice that Steve had to looked at it. The Guardian stared back at him and Steve thought of something to say but the Guardian floated away before he could come up with something. So Steve focused his attention on Natasha again. He reached for her hand and held it close to his heart.

“Nat, wake up. Please.”

Steve tried to gently shake her but still no response. Steve cradled her higher and buried his face in the crook of of her neck where he continued to cry silently for probably another minute.

Then without anymore hesitation, Steve whispered, “I love you. I love you.” 

Steve hugged her even more desperately and continued to sob in her neck. Then ---

“Steve,” a soft, weak voice reached his ear.

He released her from his hug and cradled her again just as Natasha opened her eyes and managed a weak smile. Steve cried out in happiness. He cupped her cheek again, leaned down and boldly kissed her. It took a couple of seconds but Natasha did kiss him back. He even felt her stretch her neck and reach up to deepen their kiss. Steve could not help but smile into the kiss. 

When Natasha pulled away he saw her smile wider. Then he felt her fingertips on his temple. He leaned into her touch as she traced his eyes, his lashes, the stain of tears on his cheek, then his lips. He lightly kissed her fingertips and said, “Hi.”

“Hey, old man,” Natasha whispered back.

Steve chuckled and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Then he immediately went for her quantum-GPS to check if it was still working.

But Natasha tried sitting up. Steve let go of her GPS to help her because her elbow gave way when she tried to push herself from the ground. Steve watched in worry as Natasha looked around. As she slowly got re-oriented to her surroundings, Steve saw her smile fade and her brows furrowed in confusion. Her eyes then lingered on the edge of the cliff and her hand immediately reached for the back of her head. She hesitated for a moment but eventually touched it as if she was looking for something. Then she brought her hand to her face and found it clean. 

The Guardian moved closer to them and this time stood by Natasha’s feet. Natasha looked up.

“It’s always a soul for a soul,” the Guardian addressed Natasha.

Steve felt Natasha tighten her grip on his hand. She looked at him, her green eyes glazed and wide in panic.

“Clint? The kids?” Natasha stammered, her voice weak and quivering.

“They’re fine, Nat. They’re back. _All_ of them,” Steve replied with a smile.

Natasha squeezed her eyes shut and sighed in relief. Her tears trailed down her cheeks. Steve wanted to wipe them away but she tugged his hand closer to her heart. So he just wrapped his other arm around her and kissed her on the temple.

Then Steve felt a subtle change in her breathing. Before he could make what that was about, Natasha slid her head back down on his shoulder. She was falling asleep again but she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Nat,” Steve shook her gently. 

“Hmmm,” Natasha hummed, weakly, her eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

“Let’s go home. What do you say?”

“Sounds good,” Natasha whispered and managed another smile before she fully surrendered to sleep. 

Steve gave the Guardian one last nod goodbye before activating their quantum suits. Once their helmets slid shut, Steve pressed a button on their quantum-GPS and soon he was navigating the quantum tunnels with Natasha in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote the first chapter, I intended it be just a one-shot. But I kept wondering what would happen next so this chapter happened. When wrote this specific chapter, I had no bigger arc/plot or idea in mind yet so took it one chapter at a time, writing chapter ideas as they come. Not a lot of planning on this, I formed plans as I go so I’m not sure how much sense it would make but I hope you like it! By the way, I’m not incorporating a BuckyNat subplot in this one. I’m adapting MCU’s (ridiculous) decision of ignoring one of the best romantic relationships in the comicbook universe.

When Steve and Natasha emerged from the quantum tunnel, Steve immediately knelt down and set Natasha on the platform. She was still unconscious. Their quantum suit deactivated, leaving them in their old uniforms. Steve gently shook her again but her head just lolled on his forearm. He also noted that she seemed to be a bit warm. 

“Is that ---,” a familiar voice in a distance trailed off.

Steve looked up and saw Bruce, Sam, and Bucky all staring at him in shock and surprise. He was so focused on Natasha that he forgot they were waiting for him there.

“Nat?” Bruce spoke again.

Steve nodded with a smile. It was Sam who moved first. He jumped on the platform and knelt by Natasha’s side. He did not know what to do, his hand hovered for a while in the air, wanting to touch Natasha to see if she was real but was afraid at the same time that she might be already dead cold. 

Steve clasped Sam’s hand and said, “It’s okay, Sam. She’s fine.”

Sam eased up a bit and finally reached out for Natasha’s hand. He gasped and smiled to feel her warmth. Steve looked up and saw Bucky kneeling by his side, near Natasha’s head. Unlike Sam, Bucky did not hesitate and just reached out to gently touch her braid.

“It’s red again,” Bucky whispered with a smile.

Steve chuckled and was about to warn Bucky that this redhead was already taken when a large shadow loomed over them. Steve looked up and saw Bruce kneeling across him. 

Bruce did not make a move to touch her, but his eyes were scanning her from head to toe, a thousand and one questions swarming inside his head.

“I thought it didn’t work. I thought it can’t be undone,” Bruce said in disbelief.

“The snap didn’t bring her back, Bruce,” Steve said, “the stone did.”

Steve watched as Bruce tried to make sense of everything. 

“I have no idea how exactly this happened, but I think we can all agree, that doesn’t really matter,” Steve said with a smile.

Finally, Bruce smiled and nodded in agreement.

“She’s hot,” Bucky said.

Steve chuckled and looked at his best friend incredulously but then Sam spoke.

“Steve, she’s burning up.”

Steve immediately touched her forehead. She _was_ burning up. His jaw tightened as he contained the panic that suddenly crept inside him, afraid that Natasha’s resurrection possibly did come with a catch and it was happening now. He slid his one arm underneath Natasha’s knees and wrapped the other around her waist. He stood up and started to get off from the platform.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked.

Steve did not bother answering. He just kept walking towards the compound and based on the rustles and crunches of grass and fallen leaves, he knew the three were following him.

The Avengers compound was reduced to rubble, but in the past months, when Scott and Banner were rebuilding the quantum tunnel, they have managed to set up a temporary laboratory and living space near it. They went through the debris to see if there was anything salvageable. There were some, but most of the equipment and supplies for the new quantum tunnel were provided by T’Challa. 

When they reached the lab, Steve immediately set down Natasha on the only couch in the common living area while Bucky went straight for the pantry.

“I know there’s a first aid kit here somewhere,” Bruce said and rummaged through the cabinets.

Meanwhile, Sam went straight for the air conditioner and adjusted the temperature for Natasha’s benefit. When Bucky came back, he had a bowl of water and small towel. He immediately soaked it in the water, wrung it, and placed it on Natasha’s forehead. Steve smiled, remembering how many times Bucky used to do that to him when they were kids when he was running a fever. 

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve said.

Bucky clapped him on the shouldered and smiled.

“Actually, I think this might be better,” Bucky said as he removed his left glove and then gently placed his cold metal palm on her forehead.

Steve raised his eyebrows but did not protest. He had touched the vibranium arm, it was indeed cool to the touch.

“Better get those gear off,” Bucky said and nodded to Natasha’s uniform.

Steve agreed and he started unbuckling all the straps. He removed the ones around her armpits first. He then raised Natasha’s head and upper back a bit so Sam can pull the batons and the holster from her back. Her shoulder plates came next followed by her belt and holsters around her thighs, which were both empty.

Then Sam caught Bucky staring at Steve with a knowing grin on his face.

“What?” Sam asked.

Steve looked at the two and waited for Bucky to answer.

“Nothing. It’s just, it seems Steve really knows his way around those straps and belts,” Bucky teased.

“Really, Barnes?” Sam asked. “You can joke right now?”

“Please, don’t start, you two,” Steve said with a laugh and resumed his task. He _did_ know his way around her uniform because he saw her suit up a hundred times already. Plus the fact that nobody seemed to notice it, but their uniforms mirrored each other in so many ways - the straps around their shoulders to hold his shield and her batons in the back, the extra padding and the protective plates on their shoulders, their utility belts, their leather gloves, and then their boots. They were pretty much a mirror of each other. 

That thought made him smile as he moved on to Natasha’s boots. Then Steve went last for her widow bites. He was not sure if they were still charged and functioning so he took his time with it. By the time he freed her wrists, Bruce finally came back with three aspirin tablets and a glass of water.

“Ammm, I have a question,” Bucky asked tentatively.

Sam shot him a warning look.

“Relax, Wilson. It’s just, how are we going to make her take those?”

“Shit,” Sam said in defeat.

“Steve, she needs to go to a hospital, and it’s not just because of her fever. She might have other medical conditions after --- after what --- happened,” Bruce said.

“Too much attention, too much questions, too, Bruce,” Sam said and shook his head.

Steve paused for a moment, looked at her, and tried to think. Bucky’s hand was still on her forehead. Then it hit him. He looked at Bucky and said, “The princess.”

Bucky’s face lit up and nodded.

“But Wakanda’s in another continent and we don’t have a jet right now,” Bruce said. “Maybe I can call Pep ---”

“No,” Steve cut him off. “She has a lot on her plate right now.”

“Strange,” Bucky said, almost as a whisper.

“What is?” Sam asked.

Bucky blinked his eyes fast as if waking up from a trance and said, “No, I mean, Strange.”

Sam’s eyes widened in agreement as they all watch Bucky make circles in the air with his right hand.

“Right! I’ll ring him up,” Bruce said excitedly and stepped into the laboratory.

“I’ll ring T’Challa, let him know,” Sam offered. He fished his phone from his pocket and started for the door. But he stopped and turned back to Steve. “Steve, you know there’s one more phone call we need to make, right?”

Steve looked at him.

“He has to know,” Sam followed up.

Steve nodded and said, “Let’s get her in Wakanda first.”

Sam agreed and headed out to make a call. 

Barely five minutes had passed when the familiar round orange portal appeared in thin air and Stephen Strange stepped through it. His eyes immediately fell on Natasha’s sleeping figure on the couch.

“Remarkable,” Strange said. 

Then his red cloak suddenly detached itself from him and went to snugly wrap itself around Natasha’s body like a blanket. Bucky could not help but smile and tried to _pet_ the cloak. Good thing the cloak let him.

“I have read almost every book of ancient wisdom on the Infinity Stones but I don’t remember any account similar to this,” Strange continued.

“I know, even the guardian didn’t expect this,” Steve said.

Strange walked closer to Natasha. “Bruce said she has a fever.”

“A very, very high fever,” Bucky corrected him.

Sam finally came back, “Done. T’Challa’s out of the country but Shuri assured us it won’t be a problem. She said we can go now.”

They did not waste any second anymore. Steve picked Natasha up while Bucky and Sam secured all of her discarded gear. Then Strange conjured the portal and in two seconds, Steve could see Shuri waiting and smiling at them from the other side. It was not just Shuri though. A medical team was standing behind her and Okoye beside her.

When the portal was fully opened, Strange stepped through first followed by Steve, Bucky, Sam, then Bruce. A gurney was immediately rolled in front of Steve and he carefully placed Natasha down. Bucky patted on the cloak and it reluctantly unwrapped itself from Natasha.

“This is unbelievable,” Shuri said in amazement.

Steve smiled at the princess but before he can further explain the situation, he noticed Okoye approaching.

The general did not say anything. Her surprised yet pleased expression and the impending flow of tears on her cheeks were more than enough to convey what she was feeling and thinking. She slowly reached for Natasha’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Steve saw Sam, Bucky, Bruce, and even Shuri exchange puzzled looks. Unlike him, they did not have an idea on the kind of bond that the two women have formed in the past five years. Several months after Thanos’ snap, Natasha and Okoye communicated constantly. Wakanda had the resources so Natasha could continue their work; while Natasha had insights that helped Okoye re-focus on her duty. Okoye was a general with more than half of her army wiped out. She was a king’s guard with no king or royal family to serve. Natasha reminded her that T’Challa served the people of Wakanda so by extension she did too. Not wanting to fail her king, Okoye went to work and reinstated order in the kingdom.

The two women connecting did not surprise Steve at all. Natasha and Okoye had different backgrounds but at their core, they were the same - a woman you wouldn’t dare piss off. 

Okoye glanced up at Steve and gave him a nod. Steve smiled and finally explained the situation.

“The short of it is, the stone gave her back but once we emerged from the quantum tunnel, she started burning up.”

“And I’m pretty sure it’s steadily rising,” Bucky followed up. He raised his metal arm. “I think I felt every degree as it hiked up.”

Shuri smiled at Bucky and then turned to Steve, “Very well, leave it to us, Captain. She’s in safe hands.” 

“May I?” Strange asked Shuri.

“Of course, doctor,” Shuri said with a smile and gestured for Strange to follow her and her team.

The rest of them hanged back. Steve watched helplessly as the medical team wheeled Natasha in the middle of the room where equipment, monitors, and other medical supplies were stationed and then went to work. As much as Steve wanted to stay beside Natasha, he knew he would only be a nuisance.

He was lost in his thoughts that was why he was taken aback a bit when Sam raised a phone in front of his face.

“Time to make that call,” Sam said with a smile.

Steve agreed and retrieved the phone from Sam’s hand. He walked away from them and settled near the glass windows. When he found the name he was looking for, he brought the phone to his ears and heard the line ringing.

Steve immediately racked his brain on how he should handle this one. He thought of ending the call so he could come up with a more concrete and proper plan of how to break the news, but it was too late.

“Hello,” a friendly voice cracked from the other end.

“It’s Steve.”

“Oh, hey, Cap.”

“I have something to tell you but first I think you need to sit down.”

“What?” the voice asked in laughter.

“Clint, it’s Nat.”

There was silence from Clint’s end and Steve waited patiently. After probably almost a minute, Clint spoke again.

“What about her, Steve?”

Clint rarely called him Steve but when he did, Steve knew Clint was not messing around. 

“It’s something best discussed in person, Clint. I’m sorry. I’m going to arrange for a jet to pick you up today. Just you, in the meantime,” Steve said firmly but calmly.

“Okay, I better get ready then,” Clint said and cut off the call. 

Steve stared at the phone for a while, assessing if that went well or not. But before he could figure it out, he heard Shuri firing rapid series of commands to the medical team. When Steve turned to look at the commotion, they were wheeling Natasha into an enclosed corner of the room and then left her there. To Steve, it looked like an ICU, but to enter it, one had to go through a small decontamination room first.

Steve tried to enter the enclosure but Strange stopped him.

“I’m afraid you cannot go in there,” Strange said with sympathy.

Steve looked at the medical team and saw them putting on additional protective gears like masks, goggles, and gloves. Then they went through decontamination first before joining Natasha back inside the ICU. He looked at Strange again.

“Her body is responding against infections ---,” Strange tried explaining.

“Yeah, that’s the fever, right?” Sam cut him off. “What’s the big deal?”

Strange nodded and continued, “Infections. Plural. We can’t explain it yet but it seems that her body was reset.”

“Reset? Like a computer rebooting?” Bruce repeated.

“Yes,” Strange said and further explained, “her immune system right now is similar to that of a child. She seems to have lost all the antibodies she had acquired over the years.”

“That means her body is re-orienting itself to the different pathogens entering her system,” Bruce said and Strange nodded.

“Right now, there seems to be nothing significant to cause us any alarm. That quarantine would help manage the influx of pathogens, preventing her from getting overrun by infections. All we can do is administer antibiotics and boost her immune system, helping her fight these pathogens on her own. It would be slow at first but both the princess and I are optimistic, her system will eventually revert to its original state.”

Steve sighed in relief and he heard everyone else do the same. 

“So how do you technically reset an immune system?” Bucky asked.

They all looked at Bucky, surprised at his question at first but then they all realized they were curious as well. They looked at Strange for answers.

“Studies on rebooting the immune system of patients with autoimmune diseases have been done before and showed promising results. However, nothing is conclusive yet. This is the first time I have seen a successfully rebooted system,” Strange explained and hearing that it was actually probable calmed all of them. 

“Could it be also because she was, in a way, reborn?” Sam asked.

“That crossed my mind. The simpler hypothesis is that, the stone gave her a new body,” Strange admitted but then turned to Steve. “Was she conscious when she returned?”

“No, but she eventually woke up.”

“How would you describe her mental state? Cognitive functions, etc?”

“Well, she recognized me and she did remember what happened to her,” Steve replied.

Strange’s eyes widened, started to slowly pace back and forth and mumbled to himself, “New corporeal vessel with pre-existing consciousness. This is truly remarkable, both from the point of view of a medical doctor and a sorcerer.”

“Wait, are you talking about transcendental consciousness?” Bruce asked.

“Not quite. Transcendental consciousness is a mental state where a person, still very much alive and awake, experiences consciousness in its purest form. This is different. In Ms. Romanoff’s case, her consciousness continued to exist on its own, showing that it is indeed a separate entity and can survive apart from its corporeal body. And apparently, transferable.”

Bruce fell silent, obviously understanding the gravity and implications of what Strange just postulated. 

Steve seemed to understand it too but right now, if he was being honest, he could care less about transcendence, mysticism, and other existential bullshit. Maybe he would be more interested about it another time. But now, all that mattered to him was Natasha. 

“Look, I know this fascinates us in more ways than one and we can discuss it in length some other time,” Steve said.

Everyone seemed to agree except Strange.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Strange said, “unless you need my services for anything else, I’d like to take my leave now and go to the --- library. I’m optimistic Ms. Romanoff will fully recover.”

Steve chuckled and extended his hand to the sorcerer for a shake. “Thank you, Steve.”

Strange accepted his hand and his nickname, “Anytime, Steve.”

Sam and Bucky both let out a chuckle. Even Okoye smiled in amusement. Then Strange drew out his portal and disappeared into the library in Kamar-Taj.

“Now,” Steve turned to Okoye, “can we borrow a jet?”

Okoye retained her smile and nodded.

“Sam, can you ---,”

“On it,” Sam cut him off. “Just Barton, right? No Wanda, No Laura?”

Steve nodded and watched Sam follow Okoye to the elevator.

“Sam,” Steve shouted, “don’t say anything yet. Just get him here first.”

Sam responded with a salute and soon he and Okoye disappeared behind the elevator doors.

Steve hated waiting. He was a patient person but not right now. After Sam left, Bucky and Bruce went to find food. That was when he realized he _was,_ hungry. The three trolleys filled with food the palace staff rolled in for them distracted him for a while. 

Shuri later on assured him that there was nothing for them to be worried about and there was nothing else they could do right now. Natasha, now comfortable in a hospital gown, was hooked on IV for nutrition sustenance and upon Strange’s recommendation, under sedation too to give Natasha’s body uninterrupted recuperation. The princess ordered the palace staff to prepare them their bedrooms and that they should rest in the meantime. Bruce did but Bucky never left Steve’s side. He stayed in the infirmary and sat outside the ICU, so Bucky ended up just sitting right next to him the whole afternoon.

Around three, T’Challa arrived. He was not supposed to be back until tomorrow but the news of Natasha was enough good reason to cut his trip short and come home. T’Challa knew everything Natasha did to help Okoye and his kingdom in his absence so she was more important than any trade deal discussions he was having with some prime minister somewhere. Steve could not be more grateful to T’Challa for everything. 

“I owe her, Captain,” T’Challa said, “the whole world does.”

Steve and Bucky could not agree more.

By five o’clock, Steve was standing near the glass windows again, this time watching a jet land from a distance.

“So, how are we going to do this?” Bucky asked with worry.

“I don’t know, Buck. Any ideas?”

Bucky thought for a while and said, “No not really. I mean, our own reunion wasn’t exactly a good reference point.”

They both laughed at that then Bucky laid a hand on his shoulder. “Just be there for him.” 

Steve smiled at him in gratitude. Fifteen minutes later the elevator doors of the infirmary opened. Okoye stepped out first, followed by Clint, then Sam. Steve immediately walked to Clint and surprised him with a hug. 

“Woah,” Clint said in delight and hugged him back. When they pulled away Clint went straight to the point, “So, what about Nat?”

Steve gave him a comforting smile and gestured to just follow him. Clint did not hesitate. Clint never hesitated with him and Steve held that in high regard. Behind Clint, Bucky and Sam gingerly followed. 

Steve led Clint to the ICU corner but they were still a good thirty yards away when Clint stopped, clutched Steve’s arm, and started palpitating. Steve realized that with Clint’s perfect vision, he must have already spotted Natasha. Steve turned to look at him. Color drained from Clint’s face, his jaw hung open and his eyes wide and fixed at the red head ahead. Steve was sure Clint was nauseated by now.

Clint tried to speak, to say something but there was a hitch in his throat that he suddenly could not breath properly. He also started getting dizzy. His knees gave way under him. He tightened his grip on Steve’s to keep himself upright. He did not know who it was but he felt another hand supported him from the back. 

“What is this?” Clint finally managed to ask, his gaze fixed on Natasha.

Steve did not answer him, instead he just continuously led him outside the ICU. When they were five feet away from it, Clint stopped so Steve stopped too. Then Clint slowly released his grip on Steve and paused a moment to regain his footing. When he was sure he would not topple over, Clint walked to the enclosure. He touched the glass and started to cry silently. 

Without looking at them, Clint asked, “Is she ---,”

“Alive,” Steve immediately replied.

That was when Clint fell on his knees and cried his heart out. Steve knelt beside him and put an arm around his shoulder. He then pulled him to his side to support him but Clint went in and hugged him. Steve hugged him back and let him sob on his shoulder for a while.

Then Clint pulled away and looked at him.

“How are we sure it’s her?” Clint asked. “We’re talking about magic stones and aliens here.”

Steve smiled and replied confidently, “Well, she called me an old man and when her head cleared, Laura and the kids were her first concern.”

Clint sobbed even more, but this time in gratitude and relief. “Thank you,” Clint managed to whispered in between sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you got bored on the medical stuff. I’m piecing things as I go, using details from the movies and trying to expand them for this story without becoming too far-fetched.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if you find the story boring or slow-paced. I like writing and exploring these characters in a more domestic and laid-back situations, you know, since we didn’t get to see those in the movies. Also, that’s pretty much how I write stories in general, slow-burn, then I try to make them as emotionally grounded as possible. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!!!

Eventually, Clint calmed down and Steve was finally able to explain the present situation. Clint seemed to understand everything since Steve just gave him the basics. He left out Strange’s ramblings about consciousness, transcendence, and stuff. Clint also agreed to his decision to keep the news to themselves first. Steve knew Pepper, Wanda, Laura, the kids, Rhodey, Thor, Danvers, and even Rocket would be ecstatic but they would have to wait until Natasha was halfway to full recovery.

That evening, T’Challa ordered his staff to prepare dinner for them at the palace hall but Clint declined, refusing to leave Natasha. Steve did not try to convince him further because he felt the same. So Steve apologized to T’Challa.

“No need for apologies, Steve. I understand perfectly. I’ll just have the staff bring your dinner here,” T’Challa said. “But I’m afraid, I won’t be able to join you. I am expected at the Jabari Tribe tonight.”

Steve nodded in understanding and shook the king’s hand. Minutes later, their dinner was brought in and spread in a buffet table by the staff. Then Steve, Clint, Bucky, Sam, and Bruce sat in a circle just outside of Natasha’s ICU to eat. It reminded Steve of those nights when he, Natasha, and Sam huddled around a bonfire in the middle of a forest somewhere in Northern Europe, hiding from Ross. 

"By the way,” Steve addressed Clint, “I wish you could have at least warned me.”

Clint furrowed his eyebrows.

“You could have said I would run into Schmidt there.”

Bucky chocked and spewed his beer. “What?! That bastard’s still alive?”

“Look who’s talking,” Sam joked and Bucky laughed.

“Not technically. Well, the stone has made him immortal but he’s eternally damned in that place, so…” Steve explained.

“Everything comes with a price,” Clint said. “Sorry, Cap. I just didn’t think it mattered anymore, you know.”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a reassuring smile.

“But,” Bruce started but stopped at the same time. The hesitation made Steve and the others look at him anxiously. 

Steve immediately realized what Bruce was up to - Bruce was going to pop _THE_ question. The same question that has been nagging him too these past months. But he decided to let it go in consideration of Clint’s emotional health. He thought, asking it would not change anything anyway so he let it go. Now he looked at Bruce, deciding whether or not to stop him. But Bruce did not give him time to decide.

“What exactly happened there, man?” Bruce finally asked.

Steve saw Clint tensed up. His jaw clenched and he took a big, deep breath in before putting his plate on the floor. He did not answer immediately, of course, Steve understood that. He wanted to tell Clint that he did not need to answer the question if he was not up to it. But Steve decided to hold his tongue and let Clint decide for himself. He patiently watched as Clint took a big swig of his beer, another big breath in, took a long look at Natasha, and then cleared his throat before starting the story. 

It was a rather short story, to Steve’s surprise, but still, Clint fumbled with his words, his voice croaked several times to keep himself from crying, and by the time he reached the part where Natasha wriggled herself out of his grip, Clint was a crying mess again. Sam jumped into action and handed him table napkins to clean himself up.

They were silent right after that. The story had a different impact on Steve, not just because of how he felt for Natasha, but because he had been to Vormir, stood right where it happened, so it was jarring for him to imagine everything Clint just told them.

Steve felt Bucky’s hand on his shoulder. He looked at his friend and found Bucky’s sad smile for him, as if apologizing for the grief Steve had to go through when he had to watch him fall from the train. Steve smiled back and nodded. 

“There was no other way,” Sam attempted to lighten Clint’s guilt.

“Yes there was, I was an option,” Clint simply said and cried again.

“Whatever it takes,” Bruce almost whispered and looked at Natasha.

Steve looked at her, too and felt his guilt rise, wishing he had never said those words. To his defense, no one knew what was waiting for them in Vormir. Had he known, he would have devised a different strategy for the soul stone. 

“Rhodey said she never stopped,” Bruce continued. “She never stopped figuring out how to bring everybody back.”

“Yeah, she looked for answers for _five_ years,” Steve said.

“No wonder she when she finally found one, she went all in,” Sam said softly.

“Wait, five years, _she_ looked for answers,” Bucky asked, “ _she?_ not _we?_ ”

Steve, Clint, and Bruce exchanged quick looks. Steve crossed his arms and lowered his eyes on the floor. Clint, too, stared at his shoes.

“We kind of --- left,” Bruce said, embarrassed. 

Sam and Bucky looked at each other and back to Bruce.

“We might have killed Thanos, you know the first time, but we were still beaten. The goal was to bring everybody back and we failed, big time. After that we, ahm, went our separate ways.”

Steve saw Sam uncomfortably shift in his seat. Sam sat up straight, leaned back against his seat, and he looked like he wanted to ask something but not quite sure where to begin or how to say it.

Steve looked at Bruce and found the big guy looking at him too, unsure. Steve nodded and Bruce continued.

“I went to find answers for my own problems, I mean for Hulk and me. Tony and Pepper got married and moved upstate to start a family. Thor took his people, at least what remains of Asgard, in search of another home.”

“What do you mean, another home?” Bucky asked.

“Thor found out her evil sister was alive and the only way to stop her was to destroy Asgard. Then in the middle of their exodus to Earth, Thanos ambushed them, killed his best friend, and his brother. He also lost his hammer and his eye. Plus the fact that all of this happened one day before Thanos and his army came crashing into Wakanda.”

“Wow,” Bucky whispered to himself.

“Then, Clint here, went on a rampage and became a jetsetter vigilante. Did not even bother to leave his best friend a voicemail.”

“You’re one to talk,” Clint pointedly said to Bruce.

“At least Steve stayed,” Bruce immediately said to take the heat off him.

“Not really, no,” Steve said, his eyes still on the floor.

“What?” Sam asked calmly but the disbelief in his tone was very evident. 

Steve took in a big breath and looked at Sam.

“Bruce left to deal with the Hulk, Tony left for Pepper, Thor left for his people, Clint left to spare everyone from his destructive anger, what’s your reason?” Sam asked in a controlled tone. 

“I stayed for a year, with her at the compound,” Steve started to explain. “She went back to work --- restored her web, coordinated with Rhodey and the UN in reinstating some order, worked with Okoye and helped other countries cope, coordinated with Danvers and Rocket in matters of cosmic threats --- and I just --- I lost hope, Sam. I woke up one day didn’t see the point anymore.”

Sam shook his head in disbelief. 

“I left the compound, move back to city and took a page out of your book. I started a support group ---,”

Steve stopped when Sam abruptly stood up, his chair loudly scraped the floor. They all turned to him but Sam did not speak for a while. He just stood there, staring at Natasha across them. Then he crossed his arms and took in a deep breath first to calm himself.

“Let me get this straight,” Sam finally said, his hands moved to his hips. “You sat around strangers while your friend, your best friend since waking from the ice, was holed up in that huge empty building by herself? You listened to strangers and their stories while she woke up shaking from a nightmare with no one there for her?”

Steve did not answer, he knew Sam’s question were all rhetorical. Sam stared to pace back and forth. He was angry all right, but most importantly, he was disappointed and that was worse.

“This probably never crossed your minds,” Sam addressed all of them this time, his voice hard and almost scolding, “but Natasha suffers from PTSD, too. I’m going out of a limb here and say that she’s been through more shit and horror than all of us here combined. Maybe Barnes comes in second. I don’t know. I tried getting through her, you know, but I stopped because I saw she was coping, gracefully. You know how? The Avengers, Steve. The work I saw _you two_ do gave her purpose, it centered her. Then you saw _it_ pointless? And left her? Jesus. I thought you lov ---,”

Sam did not finish his last sentence. Steve looked up at him, wondering if Sam did almost just say the ‘l’ word. He then looked at Bruce and saw hurt and sadness in his eyes. The big guy sure did catch on what Sam meant. 

Sam sighed exasperatedly and walked out on them. He went straight to the elevator.

No one moved or spoke for a few more seconds. Then Bruce stood up and walked to the elevator too, “I’ll be in my room, if you need me.” 

“I’m going to check in with Laura,” Clint simply said and followed Bruce.

When they were gone, Bucky stood up and for a second Steve was afraid he was going to leave too. But his fear disappeared when Bucky simply went from chair to chair to clear the plates. When he returned, he had six beers for them. Bucky moved his chair closer to Natasha’s enclosure and opened their beers. Steve followed.

“Understand Sam,” Bucky said, handing him his beer.

“I am angry with my self, too, Buck.”

Bucky smiled and sipped his beer then, “You know what this reminds me of?” Bucky pointed at Natasha.

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“You. Sick all the time, had all those allergies, had colds and fever throughout winter,” Bucky said with a laugh. Steve playfully punched him on the arm.

“She’s gonna to be okay, Steve. You’re gonna be okay,” Bucky promised.

Steve smiled and said, “We all are.”

The next morning, Steve woke up to sounds of clinking plates and cutlery. He peeled his eyes open and saw the palace staff lining up breakfast food on the table. The remnants of their dinner last night were gone. The staff must have cleaned it up late last night. 

Two hours after Sam, Bruce, and Clint left, Bucky said goodnight, too. Steve still refused to leave Natasha’s side. So while there was a perfect and comfortable bed waiting for him somewhere in the palace, he chose to squeeze himself in the couch in the waiting corner of the infirmary. 

Steve stood up, stretched, and notice that the sun was already up. It was still early but he was sure the rest of Wakanda was already on its feet. Not minding the staff, he walked over to the ICU and looked at Natasha from behind the glass.

“Good morning,” Steve whispered to her. 

He sat down on the chair he and Bucky sat on last night and rubbed his eyes. He was still sleepy judging by the huge yawn he just let out. Normally, he would be out jogging at this hour but he was not up for it. 

The smell of food and coffee were all tempting but he ignored them for a while. He wrapped his brain around what happened last night. It was painful, yes, being reminded of how he failed the team, himself, and Natasha. But somehow, he was glad Bruce brought it up. Now, they could focus on making it up to her.

He was brought out of his reverie by a cup of steaming coffee popping in front of him. He looked up and saw Sam, coffee cups in both hands. Steve took the cup as Sam sat down on the chair next to him. Neither spoke for a while. Instead, they enjoyed the first few sips of their coffee as they looked at Natasha adoringly.

“So, when are you going to tell her?” Sam asked with a smile.

Steve let out a silent sigh of relief. He did not expect Sam to apologize after his outburst last night, he had nothing to apologize for. Everything he said last night was true and Steve deserved every bit of his disappointment. 

“I already did,” Steve said proudly.

Sam’s eyes widened in excitement and his jaw dropped in surprise. “What did she say?”

Steve grinned and said smugly, “Nothing. But she kissed me back.”

Sam looked up and closed his eyes, his lips curled in satisfaction. He looked like he just thanked the heavens for a miracle. Steve laughed. 

“I’m guessing you knew before I did, huh,” Steve said.

“Yeah, man,” Sam said with chuckle. “To be honest, I don’t understand what took you so long.”

“Well, you know what happened,” Steve said, “Ultron, Peggy, Bucky, Ross ---,”

“Sharon, Bruce,” Sam teased. “If anyone asked me, I did not understand that, for both of you.”

Steve just chuckled and sipped his coffee.

“We were so baffled so we just thought, maybe both of you had to go through that phase so you would realize that you’re perfect for no one else but each other,” Sam said.

Steve looked at Natasha and smiled. If you asked him ten years ago if he expected to create and share meaningful life experiences with a former Russian spy, he probably would have said ‘no, at least not outside of work.’ But here he was, wanting nothing else than the chance of creating and sharing a life with her. 

Then Steve realized something. He turned to Sam and asked, “ _We?_ You said, ‘ _we_ thought’.”

“Yeah, Wanda and I owe Laura twenty bucks,” Sam said and laughed. “We put a bet on who’d make the first move.”

“Laura bet on me?”

“Yeah. She bet on the fact that no one can read you like Nat can. She didn’t elaborate, just said unlike with Banner, Nat seemed to always knew what she was doing when it comes to you.”

Steve did not know what to say. He could not believe he was that dense that everyone seemed to see first what was in his heart before he did. Natasha probably realized it too way even before before he did. 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, man. To be fair, you had a lot to deal with,” Sam said and clapped him on the shoulder. “So, what’s next?”

“I’m not yet sure. I’m never going to make a life decision again without her, Sam.”

Sam smiled at him approvingly and said, “Good choice.”

Then the elevator opens.

“Morning,” Bucky greeted, his still scruffy voice echoed throughout the room.

Steve turned to greet his friend and saw Clint was with him. Bucky went straight to the food, where Sam greeted him with an old man joke, while Clint walked straight to him.

“I’m sorry for last night,” Clint said.

Steve did not let him talk further and just hugged him. 

“No, I _am_ sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Steve said. “I know a thing or two about watching your best friend plummet to his death.”

“Me too,” Sam said in the distance.

Steve offered his hand and Clint did not hesitate to shake it. Both of them finally felt calm, probably for the first time since they arrived in Wakanda. Minutes later they were crowding over the food. Steve did not know half of the food there, but Bucky smugly explained each dish to them. 

Then the elevator door opened again and Shuri arrived. She greeted them and went straight to the decontamination room then to Natasha.

The boys walked near the enclosure and watched as Shuri and her team checked on their patient. The glass was sound proof and Steve still had a lot to learn about lip reading, so he just waited patiently until Shuri emerged from the ICU to give them updates. 

“Her fever is low now and her immune system is steadily recovering. Maybe three more days then let’s wake her up,” Shuri said. “But her waking up wouldn’t mean our job is done. She has only responded to pathogens we clinically introduced to her, her body still needs to re-acquaint itself outside, continue to strengthen her antibodies the natural way.”

“I understand,” Steve said. 

“That means she will be staying here in Wakanda for a while,” Shuri said.

“Perfect!” Bucky exclaimed and everyone turned to him.

“This place is amazing, Steve. I’m sure Nat --- tasha wouldn’t mind,” Bucky explained. “Besides, I’m sure T’Challa and Okoye wouldn’t let her leave anyway until she’s fully recovered so, yeah!”

Steve laughed at his friend. He had never seen Bucky that excited lately. So he guessed it was not such a bad idea to set base in Wakanda for a while.

“She wouldn’t mind you calling her Nat, too, like everybody else,” Steve assured him and Bucky smiled wider.

Shuri excused herself as the medical team went to their usual work. When Shuri was gone, Clint turned to Steve.

“I have another thing to tell you,” Clint said, nervously. Steve waited for him to continue.

“Last night, emotions ran high, I was wrecked, I needed to hear Laura’s voice so I called her --- and kind of told her everything.”

Sam and Bucky’s jaws dropped in shock and almost wanted to berate Clint for breaking Steve’s request. But Steve remained calm, to his surprise.

“It’s okay, Clint,” Steve said with a smile. “I assume she want to come right away?”

Clint nodded and said, “I’ll explain that they’d have to wait for a few more days and I’d do a better job with that face to face. So I’m planning to go home today, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course. You heard what the princess said, still nothing much we can do right now. So, go,” Steve said.

They said their goodbyes and Clint started to leave.

“Oh, wait,” Sam ran after him, fishing a twenty dollar bill from his wallet. “Give this to Laura. She’d understand.”

Clint looked at the bill with a huge question mark on his face. Sam’s playful grin did not help ease his confusion either. But he took the money anyway and continued to the elevator.

“What was that about?” Bucky asked Sam. But Sam refused to answer, he only taunted Bucky with a knowing smile. Bucky turned to Steve for an explanation but Steve raised his arms and backed away from them. He sat back on his chair and watched in amusement as Bucky incessantly badgered Sam to spill.

Nothing exciting happened the whole day and Steve did not mind. That afternoon, Bucky convinced him to step out of the infirmary for a while for fresh air. Bucky toured him and Sam around one of the palace gardens. When they came back to the infirmary, Bruce was there and Steve realized it was the first time he saw him since last night. 

Bruce walked up to him and said, “I’m here to say goodbye.”

Steve looked at him in confusion but before he could say anything, at least comfort him that he had every right to be there just like everybody else, Bruce explained himself.

“I know --- how you feel towards her, Steve,” Bruce said and looked at Sam’s direction. Steve panicked internally realizing Bruce probably heard their conversation that morning.

“I’m happy for you, really, and her, of course. And believe me, I harbor no ill feelings whatsover. If there’s anything it’s gratitude. Thank you for being exactly what she deserved. She had to wait for you but at least, she’d still be getting that happy ending. Me leaving the first time probably was the best thing that could happen.”

“Bruce, don’t say that,” Steve said.

“But it’s true. I almost distracted her from her real path. If I stayed back then, she wouldn’t have found her redemption and happiness. Believe me, Steve, Nat and I are fine, water under the bridge. But I hope you don’t mind if we remain friends.”

“Of course not, Bruce, why would I,” Steve said and they shook each others’ hands. 

“Give me a call when she’s finally up and about, will you?” Bruce asked. “I’d like to come back and visit you guys.”

“Of course,” Steve said and patted him on the arm. Bruce looked at Natasha one last time and headed for the elevator. When he was gone, Sam let out a huge sigh of relief.

“What,awkward?” Steve asked, worried.

“I kind of expected it to be but it actually went well. I just had no idea I was holding my breath the entire time.”

Steve and Bucky laughed at him. 

*******************

Two uneventful days passed. Through Steve’s help, Clint successfully pacified Laura and convinced her to wait a few more days. Wanda knew of the news, too, through Laura but unlike Laura, she easily accepted Steve’s request to stay put for a while. When the time’s right, he would send for them right away. 

Since they would be staying in Wakanda in the foreseeable future, T’Challa started making arrangements for them. Steve did not know what else T’Challa should be arranging because the room they provided Steve seemed enough. But T’Challa was not having it. He ordered that one of his favorite cabins be fixed and furnished for them. It was just outside of the palace grounds but still near enough for the king’s guard to roam for security.

It was a two-storey cabin made from precious Wakadan wood, with a beautiful front porch, manicured front lawn and spacious backyard. The interiors were homey, too. T’Challa had the room fitted with air conditioning units to compensate for the Wakandan climate. The kitchen was so beautiful that Steve wished he could cook. 

The house stood by a mountainside and Steve could see the city below from the front porch. Trees were everywhere and Steve thought it was just perfect. Natasha would surely love it, too.

“It has five bedrooms, plenty of room for you and your friends. I have a suspicion that Bucky would leave his old hut and join you,” T’Challa said with a laugh.

“I’m sure he will,” Steve said with a smile. “Thank you for everything.”

“Wakanda owes Natasha a lot. It’s the least we can do for her. If she needs anything else, just let me know.”

“Actually, there’s something I have been meaning to ask you,” Steve asked a bit hesitant. “It’s a favor --- for me.”

“Anything, Captain.”

“I need you to make something for me,” Steve said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The succeeding chapters are a bit more fast-paced, I promise. Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

The day Steve and pretty much everyone was waiting for finally arrived. Natasha was officially out of sedation the night before but of course it took a while for her to wake up. That gave them time to prepare. 

Steve phoned everyone that it was time. T’Challa also ordered to prepare a feast for all of them. Sam was just as nervous as Steve and good thing Bucky was there, calming them both down. By Steve’s estimate, everyone would arrive before lunch which was good. If Natasha woke up in the morning, he would have some time with her alone before he had to _share_ her with everyone else. The fact that Shuri advised everyone to wait until she and Steve had briefed her worked to his advantage.

So after showering, Steve did not waste time and joined Shuri and the medical staff back in the infirmary. She was no longer critical so they did not have to decontaminate anymore. 

It was barely seven in the morning, but Shuri said they rather be the ones waiting instead of Natasha waking up alone in the ICU. Steve agreed. It also gave him time to think of how he would greet her. He knew she would be relentless with her questions so he needed to be ready. 

They did not have to wait long. By half past eight, Natasha finally woke up. When she started stirring and fluttering her eyes open, Steve, upon cue from Shuri, moved to her side and readied a smile. He was the last person she saw before going to sleep so it was logical that he was the first person she saw upon waking.

“Hey, good morning,” Steve whispered to her. 

Natasha tried to sit up but Steve gently held her down. She did not protest, she was still groggy after all. After a minute or two, Natasha was finally comfortable with the brightness of the room and managed to fully open her eyes. Steve gasped in delight to see those emerald orbs again. But she furrowed her eyebrows faster than Steve anticipated, probably her training already kicking in for being in an unfamiliar place.

“It’s okay, we’re in Wakanda,” Steve said and much to his relief, Natasha seemed to relax instantly. 

Shuri finally approached them and before the princess could say anything, Natasha greeted her.

“Your highness. Everyone’s really back, then?”

“Yes, thanks to you,” Shuri said, her voice quivering a bit.

Natasha tried sitting up again and Steve helped her this time. She looked around for a while, trying to make sense of everything on her own and Steve let her. Steve told Shuri that they should take their time and take it slow. Information would not do Natasha good if she could not put everything into context. So they all agreed that they would only offer explanations or answers when asked.

And just as Steve anticipated, Natasha asked, _a lot_. He let Shuri answer all the medical questions of course --- her immune system, her antibodies, her _new_ body, and the necessity of staying in Wakanda for a while. Natasha looked uncertain with the last thing but one reassuring nod from Steve calmed her down. When all the medical questions were sated, Shuri was kind and sensitive enough to leave them alone. 

“Steve,” Natasha whispered. 

Steve knew she was processing a lot right. The deep lines on her forehead and knotted eyebrows were but superficial manifestations of her confusion. He was sure she already answered the basic questions internally, by herself, so he would be left with the _real_ questions. 

“We won, Nat,” Steve said proudly. 

“I kind of pieced that together, old man. But _how?_ ”

_Here we go,_ Steve thought to himself.

“After we got all the stones, Bruce did the snap that brought everyone back --- ,”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah. He wouldn’t have survived if not for the Hulk,” Steve said with a smile. “But then Nebula had some technical glitch with her memory that the 2014 Thanos learned of everything. They managed to replicate the quantum particles and they came, here, through the tunnel.”

Natasha gasped and almost stopped breathing. She did not say anything or dare interrupt so Steve took it as a cue to continue. He did his best to detail the battle that transpired and she smiled when he described the way all those portals opened and everyone was there.

“And oh, by the way, I wielded Thor’s hammer,” Steve said sheepishly.

“I knew it,” Natasha said, beaming a proud smile. “I saw it moved. I didn’t think you noticed it, but I saw it budge when you tried to lift it before. Did you give that purple ape a good pounding with it?”

“Yeah. Did the whole lightning strike thing,” Steve said and then turned serious again, “But it seemed like there was only one way to defeat Thanos the second time,” Steve continued. He controlled his voice. “Another snap had to be done.”

“Who, then?”

Steve held both of her hands in his hands and looked her in the eyes, “Tony.”

Steve did not need to tell her that Tony did not make it. She kind of just _knew._ Her eyes immediately filled up with tears and she cried. One thing Steve long noticed about her was that she did not make a sound when she cried. He assumed it was a result of life-long attempts which started when she was still a child to stifle her cries to avoid punishments. And her cries now were no different. She buried her face in his chest and Steve immediately hugged her, running circles on her back.

“Pepper?” Natasha asked, her face still flushed against him. 

“She’s still upstate with Morgan. They’re doing okay. She still runs Stark Industries. Happy is back with them.”

“I’d like to see them,” Natasha said as she pulled herself upright and composed herself again. 

“Yeah, we’ll do that later. In the meantime, there are others already lined up to see you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.” 

Steve retrieve the set of folded clothes Shuri prepared for her. He handed it to her and turned for the door. “I’ll wait outside.”

“The room’s made of glass, Rogers,” Natasha said. 

”I’ll turn around and close my eyes,” he said and smiled at her.

She called out when she was done. When Steve returned to her, she was in jeans and black t-shirt. She had a confused look on her face, her hand feeling for something by her waistband. He almost asked what was wrong but she immediately smiled at him and handed him a pair of sneakers.

“My head spins when I try to bend over.”

Steve gladly put and laced the shoes on her then he guided her out of the ICU and towards the elevator. But before he could push the button, the door opened and revealed Clint, Laura and the kids.

They all stopped in their tracks, unsure with what to do next. Steve watched as Clint just stood there and stared to cry again. It was Lila who got the first hug, well, second to him. The teenager crashed into her and in no time, Cooper followed and then Laura. Nate was still small to join the group hug so Steve picked him up. Natasha started crying again. 

“Thank you so much,” Laura said in between sobs. Finally, Clint regained control of his senses and ran to join his family, crushing his kids between him and Natasha.

“Don’t you ever do that again, you hear me?” Clint said like a father reprimanding his kid.

“Well, you know me, trouble always finds me,” Natasha joked and they all ended up laughing in between sobs. 

The elevator reached the palace hall floor and they went straight for the doors leading to the great hall. Steve felt Natasha reach for his hand and he gave it a comforting squeeze. The doors opened and they stepped in. But Natasha was only halfway through the doorway when Wanda and Sam crashed into her, almost toppling her backwards. 

“Be careful,” Laura reminded them.

Sam and Wanda hung onto her. Wanda’s tears soaked Natasha’s shoulder but Natasha did not mind. Sam squeezed the two of them in his hug and kissed Natasha on her temple.

“Thank god you’re back. Please take him off my hands,” Sam joked.

Steve shot him a _‘really?’_ look but ended up chuckling anyway.

“Hey, alright. There’s a line here, people,” Rhodey joked that made Sam and Wanda finally let go of her so Rhodey could have his turn.

“Ross sends his regards,” Rhodey joked with her that earned him an eye roll and a light jab at the side. They were laughing by the time Rhodey released her.

Bruce came next. It was quicker compared to the others because Natasha pulled away to take a look at his limp arm which he had to put in a sling permanently. She placed her hand on it.

“I defeated Thor for the honor,” Bruce said proudly and Natasha smiled with equal pride. 

Then Natasha turned to Steve and asked, “Are we good here?”

Steve did not expect nor understand the question so it took him a second and a quick look at Bruce to comprehend what the question _really_ was. Bruce nodded back to him with a smile and Steve finally said, “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good,” Natasha repeated and patted Bruce’s arm again. 

There were snickering and giggling in the air and Steve did not have to look to know that it was coming from Sam, Bucky, Wanda, and even Laura. He almost ‘shhh’d’ them but then Natasha started walking to meet T’Challa who was already halfway to her. T’Challa did not go for a hug because he was holding up a traditional African spiral choker. It was similar to what Okoye wore, only this one was a combination of silver and gold instead of just gold.

“For your service to the people of Wakanda, I grant you a place among the _adored ones_. As King, I would be honored if you would accept your place as a captain in the Dora Milaje.”

T’Challa put the choker on Natasha and the moment it snapped closed, T’Challa, Okoye, and other soldiers stationed in the hall crossed their arms on their chests and chanted, “Wakanda Forever”.

Natasha smiled proudly and received a hug from T’Challa, followed by Okoye.

“Don’t worry, outside of Wakanda, I’ll let you outrank me, just like the old times,” Okoye joked.

“Old times? Do five years count as old times already?” Natasha joked back. She touched the choker, humbled by the honor. Then she looked at Steve.

“Well, how about that,” Natasha teased him. “You finally can’t pull rank on me.” 

They all laughed. 

“But you know, you can pull rank on him _anytime,_ right?” Bucky said. Steve blushed and that gave everyone another reason to laugh.

“Sergeant Barnes, come over here and give me my hug. That’s an order.”

Bucky stopped laughing and looked at Natasha with wide eyes, like a raccoon frozen and staring into a flashlight. It was Steve’s turn to laugh at his friend. Bucky quickly recovered and walked up to her. 

When all had their fill of hugs, T’Challa motioned for the staff to bring in the food. Steve smiled to see the overwhelmed look on Natasha’s face.

“Isn’t this too much?” she asked.

“Well, Okoye said, you seemed to eat nothing for five years but peanut butter sandwich. You’re a member of the king’s guard now, and the king’s guard eat more than just peanut butter sandwich,” T’Challa said and winked at her.

Steve and Okoye laughed and did not bother to let up even after Natasha glared at them. 

The lunch feast was filled with stories, laughter, crying --- mostly from Clint, and with more food. Halfway through lunch, they received a transmission from space. The data showed that the message was transmitted three days ago and only reached Earth today. It was a video message from Thor and Rocket saying that they got held up in some planet because of something Quill did so they were unsure when they would return to Earth. 

“Hey, remember when I said she wasn’t dead? Remember that? Huh? Remember that? All of you acted like it was the end. Steve was crying but I said, we’re the Avengers, we can do anything!!!” Thor boasted on the screen.

Steve chuckled and said, “Yup, he did call it.”

Natasha looked at him and asked, “You cried?”

“Of course, I did,” Steve said smugly and winked at her. Natasha smiled, pleased and delicately traced a finger along his jaw.

Lila suggested that they take a photo and send it back to the Benatar. But it was Clint’s idea that each of them take a photo with Natasha so they could rub it in Thor’s face. Much to everyone’s surprise, Steve thought it was a good idea too.

Later on they found themselves moving from the dining table to the lounge area where the staff served them their desserts and drinks. Shuri of course monitored every food and drinks that came Natasha’s way. Nothing was served to her that was not approved by the princess. Somehow, Steve was happy that he did not have to be the bad guy on that regard. Natasha, however, did try to employ the help of Lila to get at least a shot of vodka but Laura found out before Steve did. 

“Really?” Laura raised her eyebrows to shame Natasha while everyone laughed at her.

Natasha just shrugged her shoulders unabashedly and curled up next to Steve on the couch. She wrapped an arm around Steve’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Steve reached out to kiss the top of her head.

“Okay, wait, what?” Rhodey asked.

Steve looked at the guy and saw him gaping at him and Natasha. 

“Everyone’s seeing this, right?” Rhodey asked, pointing at them on the couch. He looked around and found that no one else seemed to be surprised by the casual public display of affection he just witnessed. This puzzled him even more. He turned to Bruce and the green guy just gave him a thumbs up and said, “Hulk and I approve.”

Rhodey then turned to T’Challa and Okoye.

Okoye shrugged and said, “They were in that building together, alone, so I thought it was very obvious.”

“I’ve long suspected it. After all Natasha chose Steve over her own freedom. If that didn’t speak love, I don’t know what is,” T’Challa said.

Steve had to smile at that and landed another kiss on Natasha’s head. 

“Wow,” Rhodey said in defeat. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Hey, cut me some slack, Rhodes. I had to die and come back from the dead for him to admit it,” Natasha quipped to which everyone laughed at Steve, again. 

Steve looked down on Natasha and found her staring back at him with his favorite playful smirk. He leaned down and gave her a peck on the lips. 

“No news from Danvers?” Rhodey asked.

“They’re probably in deep space, it would take time,” Shuri replied.

“It’s okay, Rhodes, you lot are already a handful and tiresome. When they arrive, I’ll be here,” Natasha said.

“Agreed. And as your doctor, please don’t argue if I send you to bed now,” Shuri said to her.

There were protests in the room, primarily from Sam, Wanda, and Lila but Natasha heeded Shuri’s orders. She went around the room to get goodnight hugs and kisses from everyone. 

“We won’t take it personally if you don’t come back down here, Steve,” Sam teased, Bucky grinning knowingly beside him.

“We actually prefer that you don’t,” Laura chimed in.

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t let him,” Natasha said and everyone cheered and laughed as Steve’s ears burned. 

“Ah, she _really IS_ back, ladies and gentlemen,” Clint exclaimed and gave the two a salute. “Goodnight, captains. Go get busy.”

It was a short elevator ride to the living quarters. When they arrived in Wakanda, they gave Steve a nice suite with a private balcony and great view of the city in the distance. But he never once slept in there because he stayed in the infirmary with Natasha. All he did in that room was take a quick shower, which was also the first thing Natasha decided to do when they arrived. Steve offered to ran her a bath but Natasha could not wait to clean up. 

While she showered, Steve waited for a staff to bring in a new set of clothes for her. Shuri sent a set of pyjamas and new shirts, enough for a couple of days. It came with a note telling him to take Natasha shopping for clothes in the coming days. It could be part of her body’s re-orientation to other pathogens outside. 

He left the clothes on the bed so Natasha could decide what to wear then he stepped out of the balcony to give her some privacy. Natasha was not really fastidious about propriety. She barely had inhibitions but that did not mean he could exploit that. He leaned on the railing, propped his forearms and took in the city lights from the distance. The sun had just set.

Everything was perfect. But then Tony flashed in his mind. 

“Well, almost,” Steve whispered to himself. He looked up to the star-littered sky. “Wish you were here, too.”

“Are you sure?” Natasha’s voice came from behind. 

He looked around and saw that she chose the pyjamas. He smiled to see her in it. She then stood next to him and looked up to the heavens to.

“You know Tony is worse than Sam and James. He’d never let you hear the end of his teasing. I can actually hear it. _Capsicle and Red, sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”_

Steve laughed. 

“I miss him already,” Natasha said.

“Me too.”

“I can’t believe it,” Natasha said softly. 

Steve looked at her and saw the gentle night breeze blew on her hair, sending strands to swirl in air and around her face. He would forever bear Tony’s memory as a blackened corner in his heart. But right now, the sight in front of him made his heart swell in happiness, happiness in its purest form. It was too much, even for him, and he could not help but start to tear up. Natasha noticed it and she looked at him. 

Steve did not hesitate to reach out for some loose strands on her face and tuck it behind her ear. He did not know what exactly was going through her head, she still had questions for sure, but the unknowns did not seem to bother Steve right now. He was just happy.

“Oh, Nat,” Steve said softly and reached for her hand. He brought it to his lips and peppered it with kisses. “I’m so sorry for everything, for abandoning you. I don’t know how I ever did that.”

Natasha’s other hand cupped his cheek. He looked at her, not ashamed of his tears. Like his heart, even those belonged to her. He felt her thumb wipe them away.

“I kind of saw that coming,” Natasha said softly. 

“What do you mean?”

Natasha shrugged her shoulders and continued, “You said it. If the plan didn’t work, you wouldn’t know what to do. We lost the fight. Then you got lost somewhere in your own guilt and failure. You lost hope and I knew --- I knew I’d eventually lose you, too.”

“I am that transparent to you, huh,” Steve asked, chuckling.

“Oh, honey, you’re transparent to everyone. That’s why they always tease you.”

“Apparently,” Steve said. “But I promise you, I’m never leaving again. I’ve already wasted one lifetime with you by being so hung up with the past, I’m not going to make that same mistake.”

“Good,” Natasha said with teasing smile, her fingers gently brushing up and down his jawline. “So, what now?” 

“I have an idea and it’s up to you if ---, “ 

“I’d follow you anywhere, Steve.”

“Even in retirement?”

Natasha’s eyebrow furrowed and tried to say something. The idea clearly struck her by surprise, probably because it was the least she expected to hear from him. Somehow, Steve was glad that he could still surprise her. Steve held her hand between his.

“Your ledger is clean, Nat. You saved half of the universe. Surely, that should be enough, don’t you think?”

“You think so?”

“I _know_ so,” Steve assured her. He tugged her hand close to his heart. “What do you say, let’s get a life --- together.”

That’s when Natasha started to tear up. She pressed her palm against his heart and her eyes lit up to feel it was beating louder and faster than normal. Steve playfully wiggled his eyebrows at her and gave him his signature boyish grin. 

Natasha laughed and it was like music in his ears. 

“I believe I owe you,” Natasha said.

Steve shook his head and said, “You don’t owe anyone anything.”

He tried to pull her close but Natasha’s hand pressed on his chest and stopped him. He looked at her and saw her trademark smirk.

“I believe I owe you three, no, four. Four words.”

Steve smiled. He slowly closed the gap between them, feeling no more resistance from her. When she was close enough, he wrapped both of his arms around her waist and he felt Natasha’s hands snake up from his chest, to his shoulders and finally clasped behind his neck.

“I’m listening,” Steve teased her.

Natasha let out a soft giggle. “Are you sure I’m still not trapped in another dimension? Because last I checked the Steve Rogers I knew was still so oblivious to the fact that he was in love with me.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, sorry it took me a while. But, no, you’re not in another dimension. You’re here --- with me.” 

Steve pulled her even closer. Natasha’s arms now wrapped around his neck. Their foreheads and noses were already touching and their breaths mingling in the last few inches that separated their lips.

“So, you were saying? Four words,” Steve whispered.

Natasha stole a kiss on the tip of his nose first and with a smile on her lips, finally said, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this one. Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make the first part of this chapter a bit sexier but I discovered I would never be able to write a decent erotic scene. I think erotic stories are not just about vivid descriptions of things, there has to be elegance to how its written. And I can’t do that. Haha! Anyway, enjoy!

Contrary to popular belief, Steve had been with a woman before. He did not understand why the world assumed he was a virgin. But he would not dare waste his time and energy to argue his case. His previous intimacies, while provided him with physical pleasure, lacked the one important thing that mattered to him when it came to sex --- emotional connection. No amount of physical high was enough to compensate for the disconnect. 

That was why his first time with Natasha last night was more of an overload of emotional pleasure than physical. The physical pleasure seemed to have been just a byproduct of their connection in a deeper, intangible level. 

He was leaving a trail of wet kisses along her stomach and below her navel when he noticed something. He reached for her left hipbone and caressed its surprisingly smooth skin. 

“Yeah, I’ve been wondering about that, too,” Natasha said. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at him. 

“Well, it makes sense, if the stone really gave you a new body,” Steve said.

“Yeah, crushed skull and broken spine,” Natasha said and touched the back of her head. She then became lost in her thoughts. It pained Steve to see her like that, like she was still questioning if she really was alive, why she lived again, and worse, if she should be even here.

Steve kissed the spot where her scar used to be and said, “You’d really look terrible in a bikini now.”

That seemed to snap her from her contemplation. She smirked and said, “Well, I could ask Barnes to shoot me again, if you like.”

“Nat, _no,_ ” Steve promptly said because he panicked a bit that Natasha might not be kidding after all. Natasha laughed at the fright in his face. Steve sighed and laughed at himself, too. He launched himself on her and his weight brought Natasha to crash back on the bed. He laid on top of her and because she was still laughing he could feel the muscles in her diaphragm shook underneath him. 

He brushed the hair away from her face and rested his forehead on hers. She finally stopped laughing. 

“I’m in love with you,” Steve whispered.

Natasha did not respond but her eyes were immediately glazed with tears and before they could escape, she pulled him down for a deep kiss.

On the surface, the physical aspect of that night seemed normal to him but then there _it_ was, _that_ intangible and almost elusive feeling of all, overwhelming him, overpowering the thousand sensory nerves overloading in his body. How could he be both so present, so in the moment, and yet still be utterly lost in her, with her, that suddenly they were one and the same person? 

Being with Natasha was way beyond anything he ever thought or hoped for. Nothing surely would ever be better than that. And with that thought, Steve felt a sudden panic creeping in.   
He suddenly realized that he _almost_ never had that night with her, and realizing how close he was to never knowing how perfect it was to be with her weakened him to his core. He quickly wrapped her in his arms, hugged her tight, and started to sob in her neck that it startled Natasha.

“Steve?” Natasha asked, worried. 

Her hands felt his shoulders shake and she tried to cup his face so she could take a look at him but he did not budge. He pulled her in even tighter that left her with no choice but to hug him back. She rubbed his back to soothe him.

“Darling, what’s wrong? It was amazing, if that was worrying you. It was perfect! I did not realize you were practicing,” Natasha joked.

Steve laughed softly, face still buried in the crook of her neck. He slowly calmed down and when nothing was left but big, subsequent hiccup-like sobs, he mumbled, “I can’t believe I lost you.”

She turned to him, her lips exactly at his ear and whispered, “I’m here now, Steve. I’m here.” 

******************

Steve woke up that morning feeling like a different person. He did not understand how but he somehow felt he was almost a better one. The sun was already up when he opened his eyes. He turned to his other side and saw Natasha still asleep. He slowly scooted closer to her side. He moved her arm across her tummy so it would not be mushed between them. Then he laid on his side and buried his face in the crook of her neck. It seemed to be his favorite spot in her body right now. Then he draped his arm across her, holding the hand that he just moved. 

After a few seconds, he noticed her breathing changed. She was waking up. 

“Pinch me,” she whispered, her lips curled in a smile.

Steve smiled and obeyed. Natasha laughed and turned to face him, their hands intertwined in the small space between them. She then opened her eyes and greeted each other good morning. Then he felt her hand gently stroking the inside of his left forearm.

“I noticed this last night. What happened here?”

Steve looked at what she was referring to and saw that it was the faint long scar from the laceration he got during the last battle.

“It must be really deep that it still left a mark,” Natasha continued.

“Yeah, it was.”

“Good thing you didn’t bleed out.”

“Shield straps. I tightened them.”

“I’m sorry about your shield,” Natasha said, her fingers now stroking his jawline up and down. 

Steve shook his head with a smile, “I’m not.”

He smiled even more when Natasha threw him a confused look. He did not give her time to probe his last statement. “If you had to choose, who’d you pass your bites to?”

“You mean the Black Widow title?” 

Steve nodded and waited as Natasha gathered her thoughts. She laid on her back and stared at the ceiling for a while. 

“No one,” she then said, flatly. 

It was his turn to throw her a confused look.

“It’s not exactly a badge of honor, Steve. I got it for the wrong reasons and in a horrible way. It’s not like yours, a beacon of hope, the sentinel of liberty. You know what else they called me? Slavic shadow, the Red Death ---, ”

“Avenger?” Steve tried to make a point. Natasha smiled but sighed.

“Steve, even if I want to pass it on, I can’t. There is only one way to get the title and that is the Red Room conferring it to you. It’s not transferable; kill the Widow and become its successor. I mean they could always assume but it would never be official. Look, I know where you are going with this, all part of your retirement plan, right?”

Steve nodded.

“Just because I can’t pass it on doesn’t mean I can’t retire. The Black Widow has so much baggage and I don’t want anyone else to carry those. Not only did it cost me my life, it cost me my soul. It’s so smeared, maligned, and feared that I don’t think it’s fair to pass it to anyone. It has to die with me, Steve.”

“It _did_ ,” Steve said and pulled her to face him. He had a huge and proud smile on his face. Natasha smiled back at him.

“How about you, found your successor yet?” Natasha asked.

“Yeah. But if it’s up to you, who would it be?”

“But it’s not up to me.”

“Come on, humor me. On three and we say it together.”

Natasha gave in and Steve started counting down. After three ---

“Sam,” Steve and Natasha said at the same time. 

Steve smiled, a wave of relief crashed in him. Her validation was enough to wipe any last remaining reservations he had with his choice.

“Why?” Steve asked.

“He _is_ you. Smaller, slower, not as physically strong, but he _is_ Captain America in everything else, in those that truly matter.”

Steve nodded and smiled but the smile was short-lived. He looked worried and as usual, Natasha figured it out immediately.

“Barnes.”

Steve sighed and he laid on his back this time, placed his arm underneath his head. “I don’t know how to help him.”

Natasha propped herself on her elbow and rested her head on her hand.

“I know he is your best friend, but don’t be offended when I say that between you and me, I’m the one who knows exactly what keeps him up at night and what exactly he needs right now.”

He looked down at her and waited for her to expound. 

“It’s not that he doesn’t know what he wants to do now, he’s just clueless how he’s going to go about it. In my case, I had Clint, Fury, and SHIELD to back me up. James doesn’t have those right now.”

”Wait, there’s a reason why I don’t want to give him the shield ---,” Steve argued.

“I know, but I’m telling you, retirement isn’t going to suit him.”

“He’s been through enough, Nat.”

“He knows that. He also knows that his guilt will eat him up inside for the rest of his life, unless he does something about it. Now, nothing will change all the shit he’s done in the past, but he can make amends by making the right things, the right decisions, _now_. He needs to see for himself that he is still capable of good, despite of what has been done to him. He needs to go back out there, Steve. Just as how I needed to, back in the day.”

Steve was speechless. As much as the proposition broke his heart, he had to see its merit. When he decided to retire, taking Bucky with him was part of the plan. The plans changed a bit because of Natasha’s return but Bucky was never a variable for him. Natasha sat up and looked at him.

“You see my point, I know you do,” Natasha said.

“I do. But how? SHIELD’s gone, half of the world governments want him dead. I couldn’t even let him walk around Brooklyn in fear he’d be recognized and ---,”

He felt Natasha’s hand on his chest. He looked up at her and he calmed down.

“I don’t know, _yet_. But we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

He pulled her down to his chest as he sighed in relief. He planted a kiss on top of her head.

“Now,” Natasha said, cheerful now, “what’s our day like, old man?”

“Well, T’Challa has a surprise for you this afternoon. Before that, I thought we could hang out with everyone else before they leave.”

“T’Challa’s spoiling me,” Natasha joked. She then sat up. “Okay. So, breakfast then I’ll talk to Shuri about the scar thing. If my old wounds are gone, then, there’s something I need to ---,” Natasha trailed off.

Steve sat up, too and ran a hand on her back. “You’re fine, Nat.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said, smiling again. “I just need to make sure, okay?”

Steve nodded. Natasha reached in for a kiss and he was quick to wrap her in his arms and kissed her back.

When they came out of the bedroom, a staff led them one floor down. It was a common area, complete with a recreation corner, kitchen, dining, and living for watching TV. When they arrived, almost everyone was there already.

Of course, Steve did not escape ‘morning after sex’ teases and jokes from Sam and Bucky. But he navigated through those very graciously that made Natasha proud. After breakfast, Rhodey and Bruce said their goodbyes. Bruce told them of his plans of bringing them to Asgard when Thor was finally back on Earth and he would introduce Natasha to its new queen. 

“I have a feeling you two would hit it off,” Bruce just told her.

Then Rhodey brought up an idea to them. “You know, I can talk to the security council for you. Make you consultants or something.

“Hmmm… Well, that’s an idea. But first, have Ross convince the International Criminal Court to acquit Barnes of all charges then we’ll talk,” Natasha quipped, surprising everyone in the room.

Steve was surprised at the idea. It was a good one but he knew one that would not work. He looked at Bucky and saw his friend was equally surprised. Of all the things Natasha would bargain with Ross, Bucky’s freedom was on top of that list. 

“Nat, you know that’s not ---,” Rhodey tried to reason.

“Okay, how about decommissioning the Raft,” Natasha cut him off.

Rhodey shook his head and tried to reason again but Natasha beat him to it, again.

“Fine. How about he apologize for putting a collar on Wanda.”

Steve shot a quick look at Wanda and saw the girl grinning with pleasure by the kitchen counter, feeding little Nate. Steve looked back at Rhodey and saw him defeated.

“You could just say ‘no’ to the idea, Nat,” Rhodey said, a bit hurt. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

“I know,” Natasha said, her voice surprisingly tender now. “Which is why you shouldn’t be brandishing your association with us; pulling in favors, influencing the council for our sake. As long as Ross has the power he has, all of us in this room remain criminals in his book. You’re in a good place right now, Rhodes. _We_ can’t do anything good now, but _you_ can. Don’t let Ross win with a wrong move like getting Steve and me a job.”

Rhodey nodded in understanding and appreciation. Steve and Natasha walked up to him and hugged him goodbye.

“Was that too harsh?” Natasha whispered to Steve as they watched Rhodey get in the elevator.

“No, that was hot,” Steve whispered back. Natasha smiled at him incredulously. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled back coyly. 

Then Natasha went to the infirmary to talk to Shuri. Steve was curious why Natasha asked Laura and not him, to go with her. But he did not read much into it since he also had business to attend to that morning. He met T’Challa in what looked like the engineering department in the palace. There, T’Challa placed in front of him the thing he asked the king to make for him.

“I do not know if this would feel like the old one but I assure you, it’s as good and strong. It’s still made out of vibranium after all,” T’Challa

Steve picked up the shield in front of him. T’Challa took the liberty and had it painted like the old one. He traced the circular edge and discovered that it was thin and tapered enough to slice through things. He put the straps around his forearm and realized it was a bit lighter than the old one, just as he requested. 

“Thank you, your highness, it’s perfect.”

“You’re welcome. But forgive me, I have a feeling that you had this one made for someone else.”

Steve smiled as he removed the straps. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind that.”

“That depends. Who is it for then?”

“Sam,” Steve replied with confidence. 

Steve was regretting now not telling T’Challa of his plan in the first place and now he was afraid that T’Challa would not approve. The king went into a pensive mood, scratching his chin as gave the plan a thought. 

“I know, I should have told you ---,”

“I approve of your choice, Steve.”

Steve sighed and shook the king’s hand. 

“If that’s the case, then we better get started on new wings,too. I’m sure my sister would have a blast doing that.”

“That’d be amazing. Thank you.”

When Steve came back to the common room, he found Natasha had already come back from the infirmary as well. She was on the carpet playing with Nate and Bucky. He sat down beside her and kissed her on the temple. Then she turned to him and kissed him on the lips. It was then that Steve noticed the faint redness that rimmed her eyes. It was not obvious to everyone else, but it was to him. Natasha just cried, _hard_. 

He was about to ask what was wrong but Natasha smiled at him. He knew Natasha could fake a smile when she wanted to, but that was a _real_ one. It was so real that it reached her eyes and it indescribably warmed his heart. He suddenly did not know which one to inquire about, the tears or the smile. The two can be separate stories and one story at the same time. 

Clueless, Steve turned to Laura. To his relief, she was already looking at him as if she had anticipated that he would look to her for answers. He did not have to mouth to her his question or raise a quizzical brow, because she instantly gave him a thumbs up and a reassuring nod. He raised his eyebrows in doubt and Laura just smiled and nodded again.

He turned back to Natasha who was now lying on the carpet with Nate draped across her tummy as Bucky slowly counted down from ten and then declared Nate the winner of their wrestling match. Bucky picked up Nate and ran around the living room holding him like an airplane. Steve moved to Natasha who did not bother sitting up. She must have read the question on his face that she immediately reached up for his cheek and smiled again.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Natasha said softly.

After lunch, Wanda and the Bartons said goodbye. To Steve’s surprise, there was not a lot of tears. He kind of expected Clint to be a mess again, refusing to leave Natasha. But it went smoothly and calmly. Then Steve realized it was because the Bartons were not worried at all, not this time. They knew she would be okay now.

“I changed the room’s wallpaper, I hope you don’t mind,” Wanda told Natasha.

“No, I don’t. It’s your room now. And I’m glad you did,” Natasha said with a smile then whispered, “that wallpaper is hideous.”

“I heard that,” Laura remarked and they all laughed.

“Can I borrow some of your jackets in the closet?” Wanda requested.

“Sure, except for the black leather one in the bottom drawer. Hands off on that one, okay?”

Wanda nodded and hugged Natasha again. Then Steve watched Natasha turned to hug Laura. Laura whispered some things to her and Natasha just listened intently. He saw a bit of anxiety on her face but there it was again, _that_ smile she gave him that morning. Clearly the ladies had a secret and while he was curious, he knew better than to intrude. If that secret could make Natasha smile like that more often, then it could not be bad. 

As planned, T’Challa, brought them to the cabin that afternoon. And just as Steve expected, Natasha instantly fell in love with the place.

“Wakanda is more than just an asylum now,” T’Challa explaiend. “It’s your home. All of you has a place here now.”

Steve beamed at Natasha. She smiled back and said, “It’s a start.”

“A good start,” Steve corrected her.

T’Challa took his leave, leaving Steve, Nat, Sam, and Bucky to explore the house on their own. It was fully furnished and fully stocked. Naturally, Steve and Nat took the master suite and the two battled at thumb war to see who would get the second largest room. Bucky won and Sam protested at first because Bucky used his metal hand. But Sam conceded, teasing that Bucky needed an upgrade from his previous hut anyway. 

Steve got a set of codes from T’Challa which opened the vault in the master suite. He opened it and retrieved the new shield. He told T’Challa that they could give the wings later on. He just really wanted to talk to Sam about the whole retirement idea already. 

Of course, the possibility of Sam declining crossed his mind. And that would be okay, too. He would not take offense if Sam wanted to lead a different life. But Steve knew he had to at least try. The Captain America mantle was important to him and if he had the opportunity to pass it onto someone truly worthy of the its legacy, then he would not miss that for the world. 

He held the shield again. Natasha, who was leaning by the doorway the whole time, strode up to him and took the shield from him. She looked pleased at its weight. That was when Steve realized that it was indeed a good idea to ask for her choice of inheritor. The shield, in a way, was hers to pass on as much as it was his because come to think of it, apart from him, there was no one else who held and used his old shield in battle as much as she did. It was theirs. 

“You ready?” she asked and he nodded.

When they arrived at the porch, the Sam and Bucky were already kicking back and watching the sun set. Bucky also apparently found the six-pack and box of orange juice from the fridge and chips from the cupboard. The two turned to them as they emerged from the front door. Sam had a beer in hand ready for Steve but he stopped when he saw the shield.

“That was broken,” Sam said and pointed at it.

“No, _my_ shield was broken,” Steve said and handed it to Sam.

Sam put the beer bottles down, wiped his palms on his jeans first before reaching out for the shield. But then he stopped, quickly realizing something. He looked hesitant and unsure. He turned to Bucky. 

Steve did too and his heart swelled in pride when Bucky smiled and nodded to Sam approvingly. That seemed enough to convince Sam and he finally accepted it. 

“How does it feel?” Steve asked.

“Like its someone else’s.”

“It isn’t. I told you mine’s already broken.”

Sam stared at the shield and processed everything. It was a lot. Then he took in a big breath and it looked like he almost wanted to cry. He finally smiled and said, “Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

“I know,” Steve said and extended his hand.

Sam shook it and then pulled Steve in a hug. Steve hugged him back. When they both finally calmed down, they sat on the couch across Natasha and Bucky and of course, the two were grinning at them --- Natasha with her usual smirk and Bucky his mischievous smile. 

Bucky raised his beer bottle, “To Sam.”

Steve raised a bottle while Natasha raised the juice box, “To Sam.”

“So, this means retirement, huh?” Sam asked.

Steve nodded and winked at Natasha across him. She rolled her eyes at him.

“I know I said I’ll do my best, but I expect it’s gonna take more than that.”

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked.

“Well, I know nothing about being Captain America apart from the things I saw Steve do. So basically I’m just following his lead, right?”

They all nodded.

“Well, almost if not all the things I saw him do, I saw him do it with _you_ ,” Sam said and pointed at Natasha. It made Natasha blush and smirk smugly at the same time.

“But I guess the black suit and bites are retiring, too,” Sam said with a sigh.

“Sorry, Sam,” Natasha called out to Sam tenderly. “But, hey, good thing I’m not the only ex-Russian assassin here, with mastery on a wide range of weapons, different fighting techniques, and multiple languages.”

Steve saw the huge question formed on Sam’s face. Then Natasha cocked her head towards Bucky and wiggled her eyebrows at Sam. Bucky noticed it and almost spewed his beer at Natasha.

“Me?” Bucky asked and looked at Natasha. Natasha did not say anything but offered Bucky a soft smile and a nod. Then Bucky looked at Steve.

“Only if you want to, Buck,” Steve countered. “It’s all up to you what you want to do now.”

“We’ll support you no matter what,” Natasha said and laid a comforting hand on his metal arm. 

Bucky looked at her and for some reason, Steve thought probably because Bucky and Natasha were truly cut from the same cloth, Bucky slowly smiled and nodded at Natasha. It seemed like the idea just had to brew in his head for a couple of seconds and he was now on board with it.

“Him?” Sam asked.

“Why, what’s wrong with him?” Natasha asked playfully.

“Yeah, Wilson, what’s wrong with me?”

“Look,” Natasha immediately mediated. “I know he’s a bit angry, probably self-loathing,too. But he is basically the clumsy, scruffy version of me. He’s a bit rough around the edges but like me, he gets the job done. Plus, he’s kind of hot, too.” 

Steve watched Bucky pondered on the adjectives Natasha had for him then agreed to _all_ of them.

“Bit angry? Self-loathing?” Steve asked.

“She’s not wrong,” Bucky admitted and chuckled.

Then they all looked at Sam. He had been staring at Bucky all this time, gauging him and obviously deliberating with himself. 

“Look, man,” Bucky addressed Sam. “It’s okay if you’re uncomfortable with it. I’d be uncomfortable with me too. But I need to start somewhere. We both are gonna be starting somewhere, so why not do it together.”

Steve felt an internal relief hearing Bucky’s words. He remembered Natasha making Bucky’s case to him that morning and Steve admitted it made sense. But Steve realized he needed to hear it from Bucky. And now that he did, he ended up liking the idea even more. The way Natasha compared herself to Bucky was just an added bonus. Obviously, Steve had a type.

“Okay,” Sam finally agreed.

“Really?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah. Sorry I hesitated. I guess it just bummed me out that I traded one old man for another.”

Bucky laughed and stood up to shake Sam’s hand. Then together they inspected the new shield.

Natasha stood up and walked up to Steve. She sat on his lap, an arm around his shoulder and one on his cheek. She rested her forehead on his and smiled, _that_ same smile from this morning.

“At some point you’re gonna have to tell me what’s making you smile like that,” Steve said.

“Oh, don’t worry, I will,” Natasha whispered.

“Will I like it?”

“Yes, I believe you will,” Natasha said and kissed him.


	6. Chapter 6

Two weeks after receiving the shield, Sam said goodbye to them for a while to see his family in Harlem. After that Steve, Natasha, and Bucky tried settling into a routine that worked for them and it did not take long for the three of them to find their groove together. Steve and Bucky took turns in cooking, chores, and errands.

Shuri was very satisfied with Natasha’s recovery. Two months in and she finally gave her more freedom on her activities. But still, Steve could not help but be a bit protective of her. He knew Natasha would sooner or later get tired of him waiting on her all the time but until then, he would spoil her and not let her lift a finger. 

Steve was very grateful that Natasha and Bucky got along. As a matter of fact, they got on pretty well that they ended up teaming up in teasing and pulling pranks on him. He did not mind of course, but it did make him miss Sam and even Clint. Steve had a feeling that Clint would be on his team because Clint would do anything to defeat Natasha in a prank war.

Things were pretty much laid back. Days were too leisurely, not that Steve was complaining, that was pretty much what he expected out of retirement, but he was nervous that Natasha and Bucky would eventually get restless and bored. It was true, the two were similar in so many ways that Steve could not believe he did not realize it before. Aside from their almost identical and equally horrible pasts, their personalities overlapped as well and their unfiltered views of the world matched most of the time. While that amused Steve, it also made him wonder if future disagreements with Natasha would be more difficult to handle because Bucky would probably back her up. 

Of course, he anticipated arguments and disagreements with Natasha in the future. He realized that disagreements have hovered and lurked around their relationship ever since the beginning. They just did not end up fighting or biting each others’ head off because they were constantly negotiating, compromising on everything. And it worked! 

But Steve knew he could not be focused on worrying about the future right now. He did not know how well he and Natasha would handle retirement so they would take it one day a time. And today was a break from the usual mundane.

Steve sat on the porch, sketching the Wakandan city in the distance and Natasha and Bucky were on the porch steps, Natasha braiding Bucky’s hair, when a pillar of light appeared from the sky and landed on the front lawn. The light had streaks of colors in it. 

“Thor,” Steve said as the light eventually faded and revealed the god and the racoon on his shoulders.

“There she is,” Thor exclaimed and beamed at Natasha.

He stepped out of the Bifrost and walked up to her on the porch steps, arms wide open. Steve smiled as Natasha hugged Thor back. But then he worried a bit when it seemed like Thor hugged her too much that she stopped breathing.

“Thor,” Steve called out.

Thor realized it and released Natasha. She clearly almost ran out of air. Then Natasha turned to Rocket, still on Thor shoulders.

“Still not a hugger?” Natasha teased him.

Rocket hugged her too then pulled out something from his bag. It was a small ball of twig, peppered with leaves and flowers and buds. 

“Nebula says she’d come soon but Groot says hi,” Rocket said as Natasha took the gift then petted Rocket on the head. Steve knew Rocket did not like people doing that but he guessed Rocket had made that exception for Natasha, just this one time.

Steve invited them inside the cabin and said he would phone T’Challa to inform him of their arrival. Then Steve noticed Bucky hanging back on the porch, hands on his hips and was looking at something at the lawn. 

“I just mowed that this morning,” Bucky said.

Steve followed his gaze and found the scorches on the grass left by the Bifrost. Steve clapped his friend on the shoulder and they both laughed.

******************

Thor and Rocket stayed for a week. Rocket spent most of his days in the palace, working on some science project with the princess. Bucky was relieved by that because the raccoon badgered him about his arm all the time. Rocket would only cease whenever Natasha would glare at him. And that made Steve realize why Bucky seemed to never leave Natasha’s side when Rocket was in the cabin. Thor meanwhile enjoyed the sights in Wakanda, especially his tour at the rhino farm. The beasts reminded him of bligesnipes. 

One day Steve arrived from his errands and saw Natasha sparring with Thor. 

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, sounding a bit angrier than he realized and looked at Natasha incredulously.

Natasha, Thor and Bucky, who was napping on the porch were taken aback by his tone that it made Natasha a bit irritated. “What does it look like?” Natasha asked.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, both assessing their next words or actions. But Steve sighed and simply walked inside the house. He sensed that Natasha followed him. They went inside the bedroom. He stood by the dresser, hands on his hips and Natasha closed the door behind her.

“Natasha,” Steve started. His voice was calm but firm.

“Wow, whole name and hands on the hips,” Natasha teased him. “I’m in serious trouble, then.”

Steve smiled a bit and sat on the bed. He looked at her and said, “You should still be taking it easy.”

“Oh, that? Don’t worry, Shuri cleared me for ---,”

“ _Already?_ Did she do that freely or you gave her no choice?”

“ _Really_ , Rogers?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean ---,” Steve said, his voice sounded upset all of a sudden and it confused Natasha even more. Steve tried to offer an explanation but could not articulate it because he was being ruled by his emotions right now. He felt more like crying than talking. Of course, Natasha sensed it. She knelt in front of him, calmer now, too, and steadied herself with her hands on his knees.

“Steve, what is it?”

“I guess, I just panicked to see you on your feet like that again, you know, throwing punches, kicking around. Since you came back, I couldn’t shake off this idea, this feeling, that what if --- what if dying doesn’t scare you now, that you’re oblivious to it because you’ve beaten death already.” 

“Making me reckless?”

Steve nodded, “I can’t lose you again, Nat.”

Natasha held his hands and looked at him straight in the eyes.

“I promise you, I _am_ being careful and part of that is building up my strength again. Steve, believe me, I have more reasons to live than to die, now more than ever.”

Then she smiled. It was _that_ smile again. She cupped his cheeks and kissed him. He tried to pull her on the bed but Natasha convinced him that they should it to the showers instead. 

****************

One day before Thor and Rocket left for Asgard, Thor invited them. Steve knew Natasha found the idea exciting but they had to decline it.

“Sorry, Thor, we already have plans for this weekend,” Steve said.

“We do?” Natasha asked, surprised.

“Yeah, it’s been set even before Thor arrived. Sorry, I made it without consulting you.”

“Well, that’s been our system, right? You make the plans and I check if they’re stupid enough to go through,” Natasha said, putting an arm around his shoulder and giving a quick kiss on the cheek.

They all laughed especially when both Thor and Bucky agreed.

They were in bed that night when Steve finally told Natasha of that weekend plan of his. Natasha was curled at his side, head resting on his arm, her arm draped over his chest. He pulled her closer and said, “We’re going to see Pepper.”

She did not say anything else but she tightened her hold on him and Steve felt her tears on his chest.

T’Challa arranged a jet to take them straight to Pepper’s. Steve, Natasha, and Bucky also said their goodbyes to their hosts because after their visit to Pepper, they would be going home to Brooklyn. Steve thought a change of pace and surroundings would help Natasha’s recovery too. Shuri agreed but not without a slew of reminders and of course making Natasha pinky promise that they would come back.

“Of course, we’d come back,” Natasha said. “This is home, too.”

********************

The flight from Wakanda to New York was tiring and long. But Steve welcomed it nonetheless since it would give Natasha time to prepare, emotionally. But to his surprise, he was worrying about the wrong person.

“One question, sweetheart. Have James and Pepper met before this?” Natasha whispered to him. 

He thought she was sleeping in one of the more comfortable passengers seats in the back as Bucky kept an eye on her. But here she was, belting herself in the co-pilot seat.

“Yeah,” Steve said casually, then he faltered, “once.”

“He’s restless, Steve. I honestly don’t know how you’re not seeing it.”

“What are you saying?”

“I told you I’d help you figure things out with him. And this is me doing that. Remember what I told you about people like James and me making amends?”

Steve nodded but still confused.

“Tony’s gone, Steve,” Natasha said and abruptly stopped. It took a few seconds before she found her voice again. “Shit, I can’t believe I just said that.”

Steve realized it was the first time she verbalized her grief over Tony’s death. They did not talk about it while they were in Wakanda because he was waiting for her to open up. She was grieving like the rest of them but she was also Natasha, and dealing with emotions as powerful as grief was something she was trained to wrestle alone.

Now Steve thought if that was his cue to get through her and make her open up more. But Natasha did not give time to finalize a decision.

“Tony’s gone,” Natasha repeated, her voice slower and more resolved, “but James’ guilt is not. I hope I’m wrong but I think he’s planning to tell Pepper the truth.”

“Shit,” Steve cursed under his breath. 

“Yeah, shit. Look, I know Pepper, at least I think I do. She’s kind, generous, and patient. But grief can change people. I’m not sure how this is going to play out for James.”

Steve set the jet in auto-pilot and unbuckled himself. Natasha followed suit and they sat Bucky down for a talk. Natasha was right. Bucky was indeed planning to tell Pepper the truth and that he was not expecting forgiveness. Steve was proud of him, truly. But he realized this might not end well for all of them because apparently, the three of them knew the truth and he and Natasha chose to protect James by keeping Tony in the dark.

“There are other ways to go about this, James,” Natasha tried to explain. “You don’t necessarily have to go around making personal apologies to make peace with ---,”

“I know,” Bucky cut her off. “But I have to, with this one.”

Steve watched the two. He knew what Bucky was feeling but he would not go as far and say that he understood it because he did not. He was not brainwashed, had his memories removed, then broken into compliance and watched helplessly as he lost control of his own life. But Natasha was. 

Throughout the flight, they helped Bucky with his ‘speech’. Steve was good with speeches but this type of speech was more in Natasha’s alley. That made Steve wondered how many times he had to make one for herself. 

“Just one or two,” Natasha confessed. “Like I said, there are other ways to make peace with the past.”

“Like what?” Bucky asked.

“Like choosing your battles, making sure you’re in them for the right reasons. Then if you find yourself in one that made you uncomfortable or endangered the greater good, you fight to end it. I picked that up from this old man my old boss ordered me to baby sit.”

Steve blushed when Natasha smiled at him. When there were all satisfied with Bucky’s speech, they went through the last stretch of their flight in silence and Steve wishing all would end well.

Finally, they arrived and Steve found Pepper, Happy, and Morgan waiting for them by a car. The closest clearing for the jet to land was ten minutes away from the cabin.

Steve and Bucky stepped out first to greet them. Over the phone, he told Pepper that he had a surprise for them but did not elaborate. Only now did he tell them about his trip to return the stones and his last stop in Vormir. He said he came back with a gift from the stone. Then Natasha came out of the jet.

Pepper gasped, “Oh, my god!”

“Cap?” Happy called out to Steve just for assurance. 

“Auntie Nat!!!” Morgan yelled and ran to Natasha. Natasha stooped down and picked her up then she embraced the little girl tightly.

“Hi,” Natasha greeted Morgan and tucked her long hair behind the little girl’s ear. She peppered the little girl’s face with kisses. Morgan giggled and copied her, cupping Natasha’s cheeks and kissing her all over her face. 

Then Natasha put her down when Pepper started to come to her. Pepper was already crying. Natasha wrapped her arms around her and finally cried. 

Steve saw Happy walk to the women. Pepper let go of Natasha so Happy could get his hug. Then Morgan clutched Natasha’s hand and tugged her to the car yelling ‘cheeseburgers’.

When they arrived at the house, Happy assured them that he would take care of dinner so all of them could catch up. But Steve volunteered himself and Bucky as his sous chefs so they could leave the ladies to themselves. Steve knew Pepper would take Natasha to the living room and show her Tony’s hologram message. He wanted to be by Natasha’s side, hold her hand if she needed courage, but Steve had an inkling that if he saw Tony’s message again, he was the one ending up a mess and Natasha would need to take care of him. So it was the kitchen for him. 

“Aren’t you afraid they’d talk about you behind your back?” Happy joked. 

Steve laughed and said, “No, because anything they talk about behind our backs, they’ll surely tell it to our face sooner or later.”

Steve engaged Bucky in as much activity as possible to distract him for a bit. As much as he wanted to end Bucky’s agony as early as possible, Steve did not want to ruin Natasha’s reunion with Pepper. Natasha was Pepper’s friend before she was theirs. 

Steve was at the stove, working on Happy’s gravy recipe when Natasha entered the kitchen asking for a refill on their chips. Happy refilled the bowl. Then Steve felt Natasha behind him. Her arms wrapped around his waist and her chin rested on his shoulder, which meant she was on her toes to reach that height. He was about to tease her about it when she reached further to his ear.

“I told Pepper there was something else we need to talk to her about. We’ll do it after Morgan’s gone to bed.”

“Okay,” Steve whispered back. 

Natasha planted a kiss on his jaw, because that was the only thing she could reach, then another quick one on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, Steve.” She gave him a squeeze and let go. 

“What was that?” Happy asked in shock. 

Steve and Natasha laughed. Steve could not stop his ears and cheeks from burning. Clearly, he still had to get used to people’s reactions to some PDA. 

“Uncle Steve and Auntie Nat, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Morgan started singing. She was peering through one of the windows.

Steve and Natasha forgot about Happy’s question and looked at Morgan in amazement. Steve remembered what Natasha said about Tony teasing the two of them.

“Oh my god, it’s like he’s still here,” Natasha said, half jokingly and half endearingly.

After dinner, Happy said goodbye. He did not sleep at the cabin during the weekends. But there was nothing to worry about because the cabin was secured with perimeter defenses.

Like what Natasha said, she had prepped Pepper for some heart to heart talk that evening. So Pepper decided to put Morgan to bed early so they could all talk. But Steve was surprised when Bucky requested that he talked to Pepper alone. Steve did not agree, of course. Bucky’s request confused Pepper.

“It’s about Tony,” Natasha clarified to her and Pepper seemed okay with it. 

Steve was adamant that it was a bad idea, but Bucky was decided that he would do it alone. He did not need Steve nor Natasha cleaning up his messes for him. Natasha was reluctant, too but Bucky pleaded to her and there, Steve lost to the two of them. 

Natasha offered to tuck Morgan to bed while Pepper and Bucky talk. Steve followed her and the girl upstairs gingerly. He asked Bucky one last time if he was sure and Bucky gave him a reassuring nod.

In Morgan’s room, Natasha went on helping Morgan with her nighttime routine while Steve just sat on the girl’s bed and worried for Bucky. When Morgan was finally ready, she jumped on the bed and Steve helped her get settled under the sheets. Natasha laid down beside Morgan while he sat on the other side.

“What are they talking about?” Morgan asked.

Steve and Natasha looked at each other. Natasha smiled at him, telling him that she would take this one.

“They are talking about your dad,” Natasha replied.

“Oh, is he daddy’s friend, too?”

“Sort of and he’s here because he wants to be friends with you and your mom, too,” Natasha said.

“Is he nice?”

“Yeah, he is, and if you want, you can call him Uncle James,” Natasha said.

“Bucky, he’d like Uncle Bucky,” Steve interjected.

“Yeah, Uncle Bucky sounds more fun,” Morgan said with a huge smile. Steve smiled in victory and Natasha rolled her eyes at him.

“Mommy said daddy chose my name. She said she didn’t really like it at first but daddy likes it,” Morgan continued. “I like my name. I can be a girl and a boy!”

“Yeah, it’s very practical,” Natasha chimed in.

”If you and Uncle Steve had a baby, what would you name it?” Morgan asked.

Steve froze at the question, it was a soft spot for Natasha. He remembered that one time Wanda forgot about it and made remarks that upset Natasha. It was unintentional of course, Natasha knew that, but it rattled her nonetheless that it took a couple of days for Natasha to push the pain back deep inside her.

Steve looked at Natasha, ready to handle this one for her. But he was surprised to see her smiling at Morgan. 

“Well, if it’s a boy, I’d like to call it James Anthony,” Natasha said.

“That’s my dad’s name!” Morgan exclaimed.

“Yeah, and if its a girl, I like --- Sarah,” Natasha said and looked at Steve. “So she’d grow up to be a great mom and then she’d raise a really nice guy.”

Then all of a sudden, everything felt right in the world for Steve. His heart just swelled in happiness. He smiled back at her.

“I like it, too!” Morgan said.

Five bedtime stories and twenty minutes later, Morgan finally fell asleep and Steve could not get any credit for any of it. He just sat there and watched Natasha do her magic. She clearly had a lot of practice with Cooper and Lila.

He and Natasha carefully removed themselves from the bed and sat side by side on the floor, leaning against the bed frame. He had one arm around Natasha’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered. 

Natasha looked at him wondering why. He continued, “I don’t know. I’m just sorry because they didn’t give you a choice on the matter, which is too bad because I truly believe you’d be a great mom.”

And in an instant, Natasha started to tear up. Steve reached for her cheeks and wiped the tears away. He did not notice that he was crying too. He pulled her face to his and kissed her.

“You’re perfect, Nat. I love you just the way you are.”

“Thank you,” Natasha whispered then curled into his hug. Steve did not see it but Natasha had _that_ smile on her face again. 

The door creaked and Pepper emerged. Steve and Natasha woke up. He did not realize they feel asleep and did not know how long they have slept sitting up against the bed. He wanted to ask Pepper how the talk went but she immediately asked for Natasha. Her eyes were red so Steve was already thinking of the worst possible scenario. Natasha gave his hand a gentle squeeze and followed Pepper in the master bedroom. 

Meanwhile, Steve stood up, switched off the lamp and slowly made his way downstairs and found Bucky sitting in front of the fire. 

“Hey,” Bucky greeted him first. His eyes were red, too but there was an unmistakable smile on his face. 

Steve sat beside him and asked, “So it went well.”

“Better than what I deserve, Steve,” Bucky said and he started to tear up again.

Steve put an arm around his shoulder and uttered a silent prayer of gratitude.

Steve and Natasha were properly in bed in Pepper’s guest bedroom when they talked about what happened between Pepper and Bucky. Just as Bucky had planned, he told the story and apologized. He did not ask Pepper to forgive him nor beg her let to him make it up to her. 

And Natasha was right about Pepper being kind and gracious. While she could not forgive Bucky because forgiveness was not hers to give, she could however give him a chance. Tony was gone but Bucky could start making things right by Morgan. Pepper was sure the two of them would hit it off. He just show his metal arm and they would be best friends. That was when Bucky started to cry. 

And Pepper was right. The next day, Bucky and Morgan were inseparable. Morgan explored every inch of his arm and Bucky was more than happy to show her some tricks. Steve, Natasha, and Pepper sat in the porch, watching them. 

“Thank you,” Steve said.

“The past is set on stone already, Steve, and it’s heavy. I wouldn’t get to where I want to if I let those drag me down.”

“You two okay here?” Natasha asked.

“Yeah. I can run things from here and Morgan can grow up close to nature. Don’t worry, the shed in the backyard has more than just shovels. There’s a legion in there.”

That eased up Natasha’s worry about security. 

“So, what about you, guys, what’s next? Back to Brooklyn?”

Steve and Natasha looked at each other, smiles on their faces and nodded.

“You still in that two bedroom apartment?” Pepper asked and Steve nodded. “I’m sure it’s nice but have you considered moving into a bigger one? Have one or two more bedrooms?”

“Well, we don’t need that much space.”

“You’ll never know,” Pepper said and shot a knowing glance at Natasha. But before Steve could say anything, Pepper stood up and called for Morgan. It was time for her bath. 

Steve watched Bucky pick Morgan with his metal arm and bring her inside. When they were gone, Steve turned to Natasha and saw her smiling at him

“You know what,” Steve said and moved to sit next to her, “I think it’s time you tell me why you keep smiling at me like that.”

“When we get home, I promise, I’ll finally tell you.”

They spend one more night with Pepper and then Happy drove them to their home in Brooklyn. It was the same apartment Steve moved into when he left the compound five years ago. It was three blocks from his childhood neighborhood, although, he had to admit, the place did not look the same anymore. But it was still Brooklyn and its history invisibly lingered in the air, in every corner, in the pavements, so it was still home. Plus he had Bucky and Natasha back. It was perfect.

After they toured Natasha around the apartment, Steve went on to make her fulfill her promise to him. 

She was standing by the window, mischievously talking about how strategic their window was because it gave them a view of their neighbor’s bedroom across the street, when Steve gently pulled her close to him.

“Okay, a promise is a promise. I believe you have something to say me.”

She was flushed closed against him that he easily sensed she was suddenly nervous. But he looked at her eyes and found her excited, too. She looked around nervously and at Bucky who was now lounging on the couch. 

“Buck, can you give us ---,”

“No, no. He can stay. Stay, James.”

Bucky sat back down on the couch but was now as nervous as Natasha. Natasha looked back at Steve and Steve gave her time. He felt like she was mustering her courage right now, not because she was scared but because she wanted to do it right. So he gave her his dopey, boyish smile hoping it would ease her up.

“Okay, so, we kind of assumed that the stone restored my body, rebooted it, right?”

“Yes, that’s why you don’t have your scars anymore.”

“Well, I thought if the soul _reversed_ my old wounds, you know, those that did not come naturally with a human body, then _that thing_ could have been reversed too. And so I asked Shuri to check and it was, Steve!”

“What are you talking about, Nat?”

But Natasha did not answer, she just starting crying and judging by the smile on her face, her tears were of joy. Steve wrapped his head around what she could possibly mean. Natasha did not make a big deal out of her scars, she wore those with pride. Those were battle scars and he did not think she would have made a fuss about removing them. So what was in her old body that Natasha would be so elated to find out was reversed?

Then it hit him. 

Memories of Natasha playing with Nate flashed in his head. Then the names James and Sarah rang in his ear. His eyes widened in realization and he looked at Natasha and she had _that_ smile. Now he knew why was she had that smile.

“Really?” Steve finally asked, he was starting to cry too.

Natasha nodded and Steve hugged her tightly, burying his face in her neck and hair. They were laughing and crying together now.

“I love you,” Steve whispered. 

“I love you,” Natasha whispered back.

“Yeah, I love you, too guys, but what’s going on?” Bucky asked.

Steve and Natasha pulled away from each other and looked at Bucky’s confused face. Natasha laughed at him. 

“We’d name our son after you, Buck.”

“Okay, but please, use James. I don’t think a kid nowadays would appreciate Buck --- wait, what?” Bucky screamed and ran to Natasha, an arm reaching out ready to feel her stomach. “But it’s been just two months, you got knocked up on your first time?” 

“No, James. Well not yet,” Natasha said.

“Then why are you two bawling like it’s happening already,” Bucky asked, confused again.

“Because it was never a possibility for me --- until now,” Natasha explained.

“And you were perfect even then,” Steve said and hugged her again. 

Bucky finally understood, “I’m happy for you, guys. Just one question. Am I the first to know?”

“Well, no. Shuri of course, her assistant, then there’s Laura and Pepper, I had to talk to someone who’d done it before.”

“Okay, let me rephrase the question, then. Aside from Steve, am I the first to know who isn’t a woman?”

“Yes,” Natasha said.

“Yes! Suck it, Wilson!” Bucky exclaimed.

Bucky then lifted Natasha and ran around the living room. Natasha laughed and laughed that no matter how many times she told Bucky to put her down, he did not. And when he finally did, they slouched on the couch, both out of breath. 

Natasha reached out and asked Steve to come and join them. Steve sat beside her and she immediately leaned on him to rest. Her forehead was beaded with sweat and he brushed loose hair away from her face. 

He could not believe where he was right now in his life. He indeed have come a long way. He still had miles to go and he had Natasha with him until the end of the line. There was nothing he could ask for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so like what I said in the early chapters, I did not intend for this story to extend and expand like this so I’m not sure how ‘right’ this ending is or if this is even the ending. Haha! I’m not sure so I’ll keep it open. But right now, I think this one’s a good way to close this chapter. Thanks for reading!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Whaaa!!! I don’t know how good that was haha! But thanks for reading!


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